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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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NolanKinney Offline
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i'm depressed and the only way i know how to explain what's going on is like this - February 27th 2011, 06:04 AM

troubled standing up awake, trying to forget, it's not healthy, what do i do, now that i have nothing to do, no more thoughts, only dark nights to make time pass, only ever sitting up and thinking, about what's going to happen next, wondering why you're fucking with me, why does it have to be like this, you use to tell me, how much you loved me, now tossing me aside like a dirty rag, looking for someone else to say those things to, but still reminded everyday, about how much you cared about me, how much your loved me, now that you found someone else, you toss me aside, decided i'm not worth the time, i decided i was, going to try and move on, but you come back, like a time bomb, so where do i go, when there's no where to run, to much feelings to just tell you to leave me alone, the fear of losing you, sometimes i wish i didn't have a big heart, where do i go, when i'm stuck to listen to you, say those things to me, like how much you love me, when you play these games, knowing you only contact me, when you feel alone, that'll all change, once you find someone else, if you truely cared about me, you would just forget all about me, i wont be here, when the time comes, when the time comes, i'm stuck to think about all those times, when you told me, you cared about me, now you play these games to me, wondering why i try to ignore, these feelings, but always reminded about our times, when we would sit up all night, with you in my arms, telling me how much i made you feel safe, my voice soothing to you, making your pain go away, then turning around, playing these games with me, making me feel, like i'm sinker deeper in this hole, the thing i cant escape, my feelings for you, you know that, so you keept picking at that, making me hurt more, so when i try to forget about you, you just come back, like a plague, to wash over my crops, to cause more pain, when i sit up all night, wondering why, i have to have such a big heart, why my heart wont move on, when my mind has

I know it's a song, but if you read it, you'll understand what i'm trying to say and i need advice, sorry this is the only way i know how to explain it
   
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Katrina Offline
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Re: i'm depressed and the only way i know how to explain what's going on is like this - February 27th 2011, 12:49 PM

Hey Nolan,

I guess everyone has a different way of getting their thoughts out there, you know? However, I do encourage you to try to explain, in YOUR words, what you're feeling right now. It makes it kind of...more organic, if that makes sense. It almost forces you to set some of the weight and pressure being held inside of you OUTSIDE...which I think can be very therapeutic if you make the decision to really get on board with that. I know it can be so hard to talk about things, but I think its just...healthy.

From what I understand, though, this may have been set off by a set of events (some depression is, some depression is not) - and yours, perhaps, has to do with a certain person? A relationship with a person, no? And you guys were very in tuned with one another at one point, but now, in the post-relationship time, its becoming very difficult for you to turn away when this person comes back and tries to tempt you back into the relationship - kind of like a cat and mouse game. Of course, that would be me reading into the very obvious context of the song, but I know (from my years of dance), that there can always be a less obvious answer, and I just encourage you to A) tell us about this person or B) share the deeper meaning with us. IS it about a person? Or is just about, you know...the general feelings associated with how you're feeling lately?

I'm going to wait to hear back from you before I go on, but I will keep an eye on your thread, and I do hope to hear back from you. In the meantime, hang in there and please take good care of yourself.



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