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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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demons in my head - February 28th 2011, 07:51 PM

I'm fucking up in every aspect of my life. I'm just waiting for the day until its all over, I bought cough medicine today. I'm not supposed to have it since I OD on it and alcohol. Could've been worse though, I spent about 5 minutes looking at a bottle of wiper fluid. On antidepressants, supposed to talk in counseling but don't. Gone crazy and don't know how to get back. I don't even try anymore. Its like after my suicide attempt something broke and I've lost all will and ability to think rationally and sanely. To try and be happy and not just wait it out until I die. I feel like I'm barely holding it together all the time. Like my head will blow up and I won't be able to stop thinking or stop any of the thoughts or crying or anything. I don't know how to fix it. All I know how to do is lie, lie and make sure everyone either thinks I'm okay again or getting there or will give up. Everyone gives up eventually, I mean there's only so much you can do for someone. They'll get sick of it and maybe not forget, but it won't hurt as much. I don't know what to do. I just want to go home. And for me home is not where I was raised, its where I'm happy and everything is okay. I've been saying that for years, I just want to go home, without ever knowing where it is.
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Re: demons in my head - February 28th 2011, 09:19 PM

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I'm starting to re-Know those feelings. But here is what always keeps my head high: Life is a precious thing. Once you try to commit suscide or you compleate, You and your loved ones will see you or your life in a whole different way. Please if you EVER need a friend or a soilder to cry on. I'm always here. Just look me up. Live Love Laugh Life
   
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Re: demons in my head - February 28th 2011, 10:05 PM

Well im not sure what you could do, but counsilling would probably help. If your anti depreseents aren't working, then you might be able to get the prescription changed or something. It must be hard, but if you look towards others, they can be strong, and help you, when you aren't.


If you ever need it, I'm here to help, talk, or whatever! ~~Kyle
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1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
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Re: demons in my head - February 28th 2011, 10:30 PM

I guess I need to ask myself, how much do I want to live and do I think I can fix this. I really don't know how to fix anything wrong with me and if it can be, which makes me not want to live anymore. I've also been drinking cough syrup which makes me feel kinda drunk on my meds. Should I mention something to my friend so he takes it away or should i keep quiet? It all depends on whether or not I decide to try to live.
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Re: demons in my head - February 28th 2011, 10:48 PM

i know how you feel it wont be hard i tried to kill myself more than once but you got to think when life gives you a thousand reasons to cry or give up show life a thousand reasons to smile and keep trying and talking to someone may help you someone to push you and take the things you use to try to kill yourself away you dont have to do it on your own show yourself you can live and you dont need to know how you just need to keep moving forward you have to take two steps back sometimes to go forward dont give up on something you cant go aday thinking about remeber yesterday is history tomorrow may be a mystery today is a gift bad or good you do get bad gifts but appricate them thats why we call it present just move on its just a chapter in the past but dont close the bk just turn the page so dont give up on life keep going
feel free to pm if you want to talk
with love
coco




Life is too

Short to spend

It at war with

Yourself.

Im catching stars in the sky because I am fixing the soul within me. May it be from the heart a girl broke years ago or my soul simply repairing itself as it was shattered on my walk on this earth. May the stardust fill those cracks within my soul making me brand new, but never forgetting who I once was.


   
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Re: demons in my head - March 1st 2011, 12:22 AM

I have a few people I can talk to and one in particular I usually go to because they live the closest, but I feel like such a burden anymore. Like everyday they have to deal with this crap and its like they're babysitting me instead of being my friends. : (
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