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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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what do i do when... - March 1st 2011, 02:10 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I have planned my suicide in 56 days. I can't tell my parents because they'll just become angry and i can't tell my friends, they'll just tell my parents. but i want to end it all. I'm sick of the pain, even if its seems trivial to everyone else, it hurts me. I'm tired of faking the smile, i'm tired of hiding the scars, i'm tired of telling everyone i feel great. i'm tired of life.


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Re: what do i do when... - March 1st 2011, 02:48 AM

Okay, first thing is, do you have a therapist? You have to tell someone about your plan, whether it be a school counselor, a therapist, you parents, any adult that you can trust. I understand how the emotional pain gets so overwhelming that you get the need to committ suicide, trust me, I understand. But telling someone takes some of the burden off of you and you can work out the problems that are making you suicidal. If you ever want to talk feel free to PM me.


"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll land among the stars."

"For those who don't care, for those who can't see, never give up, always thrive to be free."

Smile, you are beautiful www.operationbeautiful.com

Blessed Be!
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Re: what do i do when... - March 1st 2011, 03:03 AM

I don't have a therapist and wont be getting one anytime soon because my parents don't agree with me getting one. And there is NOBODY i want to tell or even trust to tell.


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Re: what do i do when... - March 1st 2011, 03:05 AM

Well what all is going on that is making you feel this way?


"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll land among the stars."

"For those who don't care, for those who can't see, never give up, always thrive to be free."

Smile, you are beautiful www.operationbeautiful.com

Blessed Be!
Nicole AKA Nikki
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Re: what do i do when... - March 1st 2011, 03:32 AM

Because Im a failure, i'm not good at anything and constantly reminded I'm not the perfect child- my brother is. I'm excluded from my family and few people like me. I also cut myself as punishment when I'm not as good as I should be, and as time goes these things are unmanageable. I hate myself and I think that pretty much covers it. Oh and I tried to kill myself once and I told my bff (we no longer bff bc she hates me) and so I couldn't follow through with it.


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Re: what do i do when... - March 1st 2011, 08:26 PM

YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! i understand how you feel, my brother is the "perfect child" and sometimes i feel like a failure but then i remember all of the things i am good at. i am sure there are MANY MANY things you are good at, and you shouldn't punish yourself just because you think you didnt do as well as you should have, as long as you do your best then thats good enough. don't kill yourself, there must be some center near you that can offer you help, I have been in a similar position i really have and things got better for me, and they will get better for you too, keep on fighting, you can do this you can get through this.


I was born with a genetic disorder called neurofibromatosis, it causes tumors to grow in my body on nerves,my spine,and under my skin. I have a tumor in the thalamus region of my brain. I also have heartburn,hypothyroidism and secondary adrenal insufficiency these are under control with medication.
I also have hip dysplasia and scoliosis.




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Re: what do i do when... - March 2nd 2011, 01:26 AM

Logicaly that makes sense, but when i feel that way it doesn't emotionaly make sense, so it's really hard to think of it that way. and i can't find anything im particularly good at so yea i do feel like a failure. I don't know about a center i can go to without parents knowing.


Peace...Love.....Swim & Polo!!!
   
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