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Name: Laura
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the pills - March 1st 2011, 04:29 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

i just can't stop looking at them. suicide is all I think about. I even dream about it each night, just repeating it over and over. I self-harmed to try to distract myself. I'm restricting again to try to give me something to live for. Everything hurts. I just don't know what to do. I made a promise to my therapist that I would call the on-call number before I did anything. I already broke that promise with cutting. Why not just take the pills?

I even made a pros and cons list, and my pros are more than the cons
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Re: the pills - March 1st 2011, 04:41 AM

Hey there Laura,

I'm really sorry to hear your going through such a tough time right now

Let me just say that I have been there. Overdosing on pills is definitely the worst way to commit suicide. It actually won't kill you, it will just destroy your kidneys which could then fail and kill you, but its very painful.
Instead of self harming, maybe try some alternatives? Those can be found here: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/

There are lots of things that are worth living for. You are only 19 which is still young. You've got a lot left to live for, such as getting married and starting a family. Everyone goes through a real tough patch at least once in their lives and unfortunately that time is now for you. But I promise you, things will get better. Time honestly does heal all wounds, as cheesy as that sounds.
Your family and friends love you, they would be devastated if you died. You would be surprised at how many people it would affect. My friend committed suicide last August and the whole school district was grieving for awhile. Not just the school, the whole district. He had a pretty big funeral.

Anyway, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here. Feel free to use any of Teen Help's resources. There are really good articles written here with information that could help you.

Best of luck and take care <3
Remember that you are beautiful and you matter to more people then you may realize.

And here you are living, despite it all.
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Average Joe
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Name: Laura
Age: 29
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Posts: 178
Join Date: May 11th 2010

Re: the pills - March 1st 2011, 07:59 PM

I researched it and the pills I have would kill me.

I keep thinking about all the things worth living for, but it doesn't seem worth it. I don't know how I can continue on like this. The problem is, I've been like this a lot of times. I wish this was just one moment in my life, but it keeps coming back. I've been struggling for 5 years. It sounds so weak and foolish, but I just want to give up.

I've looked at everything. I mean everything. I keep trying to feel better and to get better but honestly, it's too much. I can't handle it.

I think tonight might be the night
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