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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Life17 Offline
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Save Me - March 1st 2011, 05:04 AM

As I think about what my life has come to I lay in my bed and type this. My brain is so clouded that its storming and the rain is my tears. The thunder is me screaming but no one knows that it is raining because the thunder is silent. As I turn and look to my right I see a bottle of anti psychotics, anti depressants, tytonel, and ny quil wondering when will be the perfect time to take them. As I look to the left I see the silouite of my roommate and I wonder how she would react to see her roommate dead 10 ft away from her. When I was in high school I had a lot of support and people who I trusted to help me when I hit rock bottom now I'm alone and can do as I please or better yet as depression please. When depression took over I stay in my room, avoid friends, food, and sleep. I have no one to talk to or to tell I am going to commit suicide within a matter time. SAVE ME!
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Save Me - March 1st 2011, 12:41 PM

Hi there.

I regret to hear that you're feeling so low right now. I, too, am in college - I just want to point out to you that while you may not physically be in close proximity to those you went to high school with (particularly the ones you mentioned that you trusted and felt as though you could rely on for support), that does not mean that you're not allowed to be in close proximity, emotionally, to your friends in high school. I know for a fact that if one of the friends I graduated high school with were to contact me and ask for support -- whether I'd talked to them in a while or not -- I'd be all about checking up on them and supporting them the best I could. So, I do encourage you to go back to the people you feel comfortable around and building yourself up from where you're most comfortable. Eventually, I encourage you to look and see what kind of counseling services are offered at your university.

In the meantime, hang in there... Is there anything that you feel like has really set this off recently? Or have you just kind of felt like things have been on the gradual decline for a while? Either way - I'll be checking back in on this thread and I certainly hope to hear back from you. One baby step at a time, you know? And if you ever feel as though you're in danger (to yourself or otherwise), please please please seek help. Take good care of yourself.



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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Save Me - March 1st 2011, 12:55 PM

I am going to be incredibly hypocritical right now, maybe even a little harsh and I apologise. But I think it needs to be said.

Can you imagine the trauma your room mate will have to live with for the rest of their life, if they wake up to a dead room mate? One they probably didn't even suspect to be suicidal? How can you condemn someone else to the same horrible emotion that you feel right now?

If not for your room mate, then please for me. I need to know that if someone, feeling the exact same hopelessness and depression that I am, can make it through, then I have a chance. I am here If you need but please, please, please don't do it.

If not for anyone, do it because you are strong enough. Be strong. Be the person you want to be. Wishful thinkers never accomplish anything. Act on your dreams and goal, find your passion. I can tell you are an excellent writer, maybe you should write novels?

I just want to help you make it through, as well as keeping myself semi distracted from the same situation.


"Do not regret anything. Every choice, fuck up, spoken word, experience and emotion has brought you to this very moment. It has shaped exactly who you are. Do not regret who you are. You are unique. No one in the world is like you. In this sense, we are alone. Yet for this very reason, we all have one thing in common. Don't waste who you are, be everything you can be. You can achieve your dreams, you just have to genuinely try."
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Save Me - March 2nd 2011, 02:27 AM

There is nothing that has triggered me... I suffer from major depression and life can be joyful and free then all of a sudden its like a light switch flips and the lights are turned of then Im left in the dark to be kidnap and abused by depression(major bully)
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Save Me - March 2nd 2011, 02:50 AM

Hey,
You really do write beautifully. I understand how it is…having all you need to off yourself. But you don't want to. You may feel the desire but ultimately you don't want to be dead. That's why you posted this. That's a really good thing that you did. I know psycholgists/psychiatrists are scarry but maybe one could help. And they're really not so bad in person


Just Keep Breathing
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Save Me - March 2nd 2011, 03:38 AM

Anyone that wants to talk about my feeelings in person are going to honest feel inside I can't deal with the igronace of this young woman. Im not a ingronant young woman and I don't refuse to talk I just cannot express my feelings verbaly. Assumption then dances around the room in joy when my so call ingronce surrounds the minds of therapist, counselors,etc. Assumptions then leads to she is a threat to herself and she needs to be hospitalized then the head athuority in my life (parents) show hidden disappointment that keeps a memory in my mind forever. I'm done going throught that process so I want talk to a psychologist, psychstrist,etc.
   
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Re: Save Me - March 2nd 2011, 07:14 AM

Hey there,

I know this isn't much, but I just want you to know that things like these go away. They don't last, so wait it out.

You're 19. You still have your whole life ahead of you. You still have that perfect someone to meet, that one person who unknowingly saves your life, and many breathtaking moments to experience.

Your writing is also incredible. It would be a complete waste of talent to let that die. If writing makes you happy, why don't you write stories and become a writer?

So please wait it out. I promise you things like these don't last forever.


Carpe Diem: Seize the Day/Moment. -Horace

Veni, Vidi, Vici: I came, I saw, I conquered -Julius Caesar
   
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Re: Save Me - March 5th 2011, 03:57 AM

Thanks I've made it home I'm just incrediably scared to tell my parents that the major bully (depression) has came back to visit me and september (suicide thoughts) have not disappered and has been annoying and very tempting for about three weeks now.
   
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Re: Save Me - March 5th 2011, 05:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Life17 View Post
Anyone that wants to talk about my feeelings in person are going to honest feel inside I can't deal with the igronace of this young woman. Im not a ingronant young woman and I don't refuse to talk I just cannot express my feelings verbaly. Assumption then dances around the room in joy when my so call ingronce surrounds the minds of therapist, counselors,etc. Assumptions then leads to she is a threat to herself and she needs to be hospitalized then the head athuority in my life (parents) show hidden disappointment that keeps a memory in my mind forever. I'm done going throught that process so I want talk to a psychologist, psychstrist,etc.
I went to a psychologist for a while, at first I was sincerely happy, but the results where not the kind I was looking for. Often people will take my lack of communication as a sign of ignorance, so I understand where you're coming from with that.

If you're not willing to see anyone, you'll need to start to take steps to help yourself. It's really all there is to it. Being stubborn about the depression wont get you anywhere. You recognize you have an issue and you obviously don't want it there, so rid yourself of it.

You need to stay positive, don't let that depression bully get you anymore. Take charge of your life. There are so many wonderful things you can experience in life and committing suicide eliminates those amazing possibilities.

With what the above have stated about our talent in writing, use that to your advantage. Write. You have so much ahead of you. Get through this.


Colours De Moi


   
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Re: Save Me - March 6th 2011, 05:28 AM

I know you feel hopeless now, But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If you commit suscide then all you would of rembered was the dark. I guess no one here can COMPLEATLY stop you, but we hope we can at lest get you to stop and think. I hope you are okay. What all happened? Send me a message! I'm always wanting to talk!
   
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Re: Save Me - March 7th 2011, 04:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by AbbyLove View Post
I know you feel hopeless now, But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If you commit suscide then all you would of rembered was the dark. I guess no one here can COMPLEATLY stop you, but we hope we can at lest get you to stop and think. I hope you are okay. What all happened? Send me a message! I'm always wanting to talk!
Depression is what happen... I need help to change it and I need help now I'm ast the end of my whits
   
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Re: Save Me - March 17th 2011, 05:48 AM

hang in there.. there's a lot of pain in the world but there's just as much, even more happiness. Look around you and try as hard as you can to be positive about one thing, as hard as you can. when you've done that you'll feel a little better and the world won't seem like such a scarey place, ok?


Blah
   
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