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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
BringMeToLife Offline
Welcome me, I'm new!
BringMeToLife's Avatar
Name: Kristina
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio.

Posts: 1
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: March 1st 2011

Suside in my mind - March 1st 2011, 06:11 PM

Okay... So I do have a confession.
Suiside is in my mind. I cant get it out. There is a song, of which my username is after. When my thoughts go back to suiside, that song comes into my head. Instead of its regular chorus, however, I hear "Save me from my life". I dont think its natual to be almost 14 and to encounter suisidal thoughts and dreams. But I do. I don't know what to do. Talking makes me feel worse. Actually, I wrote a poem called To tell a friend (My suisidal thoughts.) Here it is.
To tell a friend
My life is a spiralling depression
Isn't always gonna work.
The devil takes depression
He thrives on it,
To tell a friend I feel that
To burden a friend with my pain
Is worse than death itself.
I keep it boxed up.
My parents dont care.
They think its a teenage thing.
So pain goes into my heart
And sticks there
What will I do?
My pain is too much.
To tell a friend
Is too much.
My life is short.
My smile is a lie.
To tell a friend
I'm thinking of suiside
To tell a friend
I might say goodbye,
They can't have that burden.
They don't need to worry.
I just don't know why
Death effects me
4 years later.
Why my best friend leaving me
Effects me so late.
Whats wrong with me?
Am I stupid?
Am I daft?
Do I have to get smacked
To death?
To tell a friend this is how i feel
Hurts like a bruise.
My prayers always ask God
To do away with me
If that is his will.
If its not,
Oh will someone tell me why I'm here?
To tell a friend
I care, and dieing might be the best,
Will kill them
From the inside out
I feel bad,
But my life commonly spins out of control.
Not from my family
From me.
To tell a friend thats how I feel,
I might just die already.

I need tallked out of suiside. If you can do that, I will thank you from the bottom of my heart
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Everglow. Offline
Did you miss me?
Jeez, get a life!
Everglow.'s Avatar
Name: Hollie
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: London

Posts: 5,036
Blog Entries: 751
Join Date: January 19th 2011

Re: Suside in my mind - March 1st 2011, 06:30 PM

Heyy Kristina.
I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. I know depression is hard, and suicide often seems an easy way out, but i honestly dont think it is. if you want to get rid of the thoughts, maybe you should consider talking to a professional. I know it may seem scary, but they will be able to help you as they know about this stuff. Just remember, you're amazing and you're beautiful, and you have great taste in music. I can see why you relate to it, but let me tell you this, you're worth so much and dont ever believe otherwise.
Your poem here is really well written. I can relate to it, and again i'm sorry you're feeling like this. I know telling people may seem like you're putting a burden on them, but it could help you with getting the help you need.
If you ever want to talk PM me, i'll always listen. I hope you feel better soon, and that i helped you a little bit.
remember you're loved, and special. keep strong and take care. you're beautiful.

A paradox:
The things you donít need to liveó
books, art, cinema, wine, and so onó
are the things you need to live

- Matt Haig

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