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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Shanna Offline
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I believe I am done now... - March 4th 2011, 02:45 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm just tired right now....I am ready to be over with. Nothing is particularly wrong at the moment. I just feel so lost and down and depressed. I want to cut or get fucked up but, I'm too tired too and honestly I'm not going to do anything, but it still messes with my mood And my head. I am sorry for talking, but I am not getting the support I really need from people.
   
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Re: I believe I am done now... - March 4th 2011, 03:00 AM

Don't be sorry for talking. Talking is the best thing to do sometimes.
Vent. It's why a lot of us are here, to support you and those that need it.

For the past few months, I've felt the exact same why you feel now. It happens to me a few times a year for the past eight years. I understand how you feel, and if you need to talk, I'm here.

There doesn't have to be a particular negative thing occurring in your life for you to feel this way. Maybe something triggered it in you... Like a single word.

The worst thing to do right now is to cut or get fucked up. It's best to think long term and not short term. Sure it will feel great the moment you do it... But how will you feel about it ten minutes later? Two hours later? The next day? The next week? I always found that the long term guilt or increased urges just added on to the stress and depression I was feeling. You say you won't do anything, but it's not doing much good to think about it often either. You know?

I understand that being in such a mood kind of really sucks, especially when you aren't sure why you are feeling this way... but you should be thinking of things that will cheer you up for certain. Or people that will make you feel good.


"Although only breath, words which I command are immortal." Sappho

"Sometimes I feel nothing at all. Sometimes I feel everything is my fault.
Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

   
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Re: I believe I am done now... - March 4th 2011, 03:20 AM

I really thought I was alone. I am stressed out a lot...I am going to school, have a severely disabled friend, my dad is an ass hole. My friends parents are upset with me saying I don't do enough around the house when I come home after school and clean while they sit around. I'm basically the only one cleaning. Today I had a much needed break from school with a friend and My friends mom found out and got upset at me saying I'm not allowed to hang out with boys. On Monday his parents said that if I don't stop being sarcastic then I will get kicked out when it is a defense mechanism and I don't know how to change it. I've used that technique since elementary...of course I just now realized what was going on.... Idk there is some more but everything is building up and I have lost it...
   
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Re: I believe I am done now... - March 4th 2011, 10:15 AM

Shanna,

Try to take a deep breath.. Tensions build and along with it come the stresses of life.
I can see your are a very good person. Sometimes everything happens at once, and it can be overwhelming. But a moment is just a moment, time will always pass and bring on a new and oftentimes better moment. You are a good friend and i believe in your strength. You can get through this!

Try to look ahead at the positive things! Your birthday is coming up!

Just know that even if you feel alone, someone out there does care, even if he is a complete stranger! <3

-Diego-
   
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Re: I believe I am done now... - March 4th 2011, 08:02 PM

Things get better as time goes on. When things like this happen, take it as a challenge, but a good challenge. If you keep your head up and make the best of every situation, you will come out of it as a stronger person, and things won't seem so bad.

Have you told these people this? Have you told them how you could use some help cleaning? Or tell them how you don't appreciate it when they yell at you to do these things, while they do nothing. Even with your parents... if you have a reason to think they aren't being fair, or something along those lines, you should discuss it with them. There is no reason to yell or get angry, but instead to just have a calm discussion about your feelings.

We all have our own defense mechanisms, and some of them may offend or upset other people.. If it offends someone, you should try to once again tell them.. or every time you think you're going to have to go into that defensive zone, try to keep calm and lay back a bit. I understand that it's just how you cope with certain situations, but you want the best outcome on both of sides of the conflict.


"Although only breath, words which I command are immortal." Sappho

"Sometimes I feel nothing at all. Sometimes I feel everything is my fault.
Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

   
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Re: I believe I am done now... - March 4th 2011, 09:13 PM

Just keep your Head high. I know it feels stupid, but it does make a difference. We all here at teen help love you and don't want you to harm yourself. Everyone is beauitful in their own way. Life is worth living. I know exactly your perspective. I was there last year and THIS year also. Suscide is a hard and scary thing to think of. Think of this: We would all miss you!
   
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Re: I believe I am done now... - March 4th 2011, 10:48 PM

hey its good to get these feelings out its not good to hold them in there is a poem called dont you quit its a really inspireing poem http://www.psalm40.org/dontquit.html here read this post it somewhere you can read it




Life is too

Short to spend

It at war with

Yourself.

Iím catching stars in the sky because I am fixing the soul within me. May it be from the heart a girl broke years ago or my soul simply repairing itself as it was shattered on my walk on this earth. May the stardust fill those cracks within my soul making me brand new, but never forgetting who I once was.


   
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Re: I believe I am done now... - March 5th 2011, 05:46 AM

Thanks you guys. I got in more trouble today...And I am not a good friend honestly....He could have died and I honestly don't care at the moment.....I hate myself for the emotionless thoughts I have.....I think he just pushed me to a point I couldn't handle anymore......I can't take his meanness anymore. His constant abuse. I HATE myself for it, but I can't seem to bring myself to feel for him....and I don't know why. I need to move out because this is no longer good for anyone anymore. I am so close to just giving everything up right now. I think it would be better if I wasn't around and nobody had to deal with me.
   
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Re: I believe I am done now... - March 5th 2011, 02:14 PM

Sure, you may feel guilty about not feeling anything or feeling bad/sympathy, but it sounds like you have a solid reason to feel this way. It's not unnatural to feel that way about someone who has abused you or hurt you.

By "giving it up" and "if I wasn't around"... I'm assuming you're still maybe talking about moving out? Probably not... BUT- Moving out could be difficult, but it may be good to get some space from those that are giving you a hard time. Like... The university I'm going to next year is commutable distance from my home, but I'm dorming because I know I need to get away from everything for a little bit. You know? It's good to get space, but not forget about everyone.

If not.. you don't have to give everything up to feel peace and solace. You just have to find something or somewhere that makes you feel good again.


"Although only breath, words which I command are immortal." Sappho

"Sometimes I feel nothing at all. Sometimes I feel everything is my fault.
Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

   
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Re: I believe I am done now... - March 5th 2011, 07:31 PM

It's not that I want to die...it's just that I don't wanna live like this anymore.
   
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Re: I believe I am done now... - March 5th 2011, 07:32 PM

I honestly wasn't going to tell you this....but I cut like an hour ago and I made it deep enough to seep through my pants.
   
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Re: I believe I am done now... - March 6th 2011, 01:18 AM

Forget this shit....I'm done. Thank you for everything.
   
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Re: I believe I am done now... - March 6th 2011, 02:23 AM

Don't be done... You're better than all of this, than them. You just have to believe in yourself. Yeah, it's hard at times, but cutting doesn't make you stronger.. Overcoming it is what makes you stronger. Being able to stand up and say that you have survived yourself.. I'm a seven year sufferer and one year survivor of myself, and I can honestly say that when I can tell people that I'm clean in the sense of sh, I feel better and stronger than I ever have. I may not be happy, but I can live my life free.

Like I said... If you don't want to live the life your living now, then don't take this particular path. Make something good out of what you're given. If you don't like the way you're living, then make the best of it and make a positive change.

I'm here to talk if you ever need me. I care. <3


"Although only breath, words which I command are immortal." Sappho

"Sometimes I feel nothing at all. Sometimes I feel everything is my fault.
Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

   
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Re: I believe I am done now... - March 6th 2011, 04:28 AM

Life is worth living. God has made a plan for you. Do you want to ruin that? :\
   
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Re: I believe I am done now... - March 7th 2011, 03:24 AM

Abby, God told you tell me that, and thank you for relaying that to me. I am better now. Everything is better which is good. I am strong, I just need some motivation sometimes.
   
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Re: I believe I am done now... - March 7th 2011, 03:58 AM

Hi Shanna,
I'm glad you're doing better right now. Praise God. I know times can be hard sometimes, and you can feel like things are not worth living through. But as Abby said, God does have a very special plan for you and does not want you to ruin the life he gave you. When you feel down and ready to no longer live, talk to him because he wants to hear from you. I want you to know I'm here for you, no matter what's going on. I would love for you to send me a PM whenever you want. I hope everything continues to go alright. Stay Strong.

jelli1224


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