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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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AllTimeSierra Offline
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Will it ever get better. - March 13th 2011, 04:40 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Will things ever get better.
I can't remember a time,
I have actually been happy.
   
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Re: Will it ever get better. - March 13th 2011, 11:20 AM

This is part of what I posted on another user's profile, but I feel like it also applies to your situation:

I think I first started showing signs of depression as early as 7th grade, but it really started being a problem in my freshman year of high school. In my junior year, I literally hit rock bottom. Nothing around me was going right -- my dad had resigned from his job, my mom was stressing out every day, my sister was struggling in school and was also being bullied herself -- and worst of all, I wasn't even around to comfort them that year. (I was living with my aunt and uncle.) I hated school. It seemed as though no one cared about me, and even though I worked really hard on all my assignments and tests I still got bad grades. I stopped coming to school regularly, refused to wake up in the mornings, went several days at a time without eating or sleeping. But, miraculously, I still made it! I was tired of being at rock bottom and decided to turn to someone for help. In the end, I finished my junior year with decent grades and a stellar SAT score. The summer afterwards, things began to look up again for me, and even though senior year started out a little rough (I moved to another state and sort of got into trouble by doing something really irresponsible) I'm fine again. I know how it feels to be at rock bottom: you're convinced that you are the worst person in the world and that no one cares about you, and that seeking for help is useless. Don't believe that for a second -- that's all lies! There is always someone who is willing to listen to you, even when you think no one will.

I'm just posting this to give you a bit of hope that things CAN and WILL get better. I'm currently finishing my senior year with a smile -- I got accepted to UCLA just yesterday and UC Irvine a month ago, and am greatly looking forward to graduation and Senior Week. I never would have thought this possible if you'd asked me about it just a year ago. Rest assured that if you're patient enough, things will improve...
   
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