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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Paix et Amour Offline
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Angry i really dont think i can ever get better - March 13th 2011, 11:23 AM

i cant stop feeling depressed. when i start to get better, something happens. im lonely as hell (yea, i know, im young, plenty of time to find someone, blahblahblah) i have anxiety, im suicidal, and i dont see a reason to live anymore. my life really isnt worth living. and before you point out my age, just know that im smarter and a lot more mature then quite a few adults i know. im sick of people saying I'm just a dumb kid and don't know better
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Re: i really dont think i can ever get better - March 13th 2011, 03:21 PM

Hi, Sarah.

Well, believe it or not, I used to have this same problem. The angry, the sad, everything bad, nothing really ever good, right? People always telling you that you can't do anything because you're 'too young', even though in your mind you're a lot older than your physical appearance.

Let me tell you this: You're not too young to be having these suicidal thoughts. Anyone, if they have little hope, can be suicidal. So the next time someone tells you you're too young to be suicidal, just ignore it and let it roll off your shoulders. They've never been through what you're going through.

But I have, so listen.

This will get better. I'm not going to tell you it's easy to get away from the place you're in, because it's not. It may take a while. Hell, it took me two years to get better, and honestly, I'm still a little scarred from it. If I'm not careful, I fall right back into depression again, and the suicidal thoughts start coming back.

Now, I don't know if this will work for you and your situation (if not, tell me, and I'll help you come up with something different), but this is what I did to shake off my depression:

First of all, I found something to be passionate about: Music. I listened to it, wrote it, sang it, played it. Constantly. I really favored the loud stuff that left it impossible for me to think.

Second of all, I hit my 'rock bottom'. I completely let my feelings loose, got rid of all my bottled up feelings, and stopped smiling to people's faces when I really didn't feel like it. I snapped at everyone when I felt like it, broke down crying several times right in front of my parents, dyed my hair and changed my clothes, constantly annoyed my mom about having no friends (I was homeschooled for five years), and outwardly became the spectral, angry being that I felt like inside. My parents finally realized something was wrong when I broke down crying in our car on our way back from a family vacation I had been too tired and sad to partake of (I pretty much sat around and stared out the window at the lake and sky).

Anywho, I don't recommend going to that extreme, but my main advice is don't be quiet about how you feel. You feel trapped in your life? Tell someone. You have no friends? Tell someone. You feel like crying all the time? Do it, wherever you feel like it. It won't be too long before someone realizes you're not too young to be thinking the way you are, and that you need help. And you'll get it.

And if you feel lonely, why do you feel lonely? Are you homeschooled? Does your family allow you to talk on the phone/e-mail? Are you just too shy to talk to people? Or (I'm guessing this one) are you too mature for your age group and the people at school? If it's the last one, I recommend finding an older friend. My best friend was my nine-years-older aunt, and I'm guessing you can probably find someone in your family/surroundings who would be a good friend.

And if you just want a girlfriend or boyfriend, know this: You don't need anything or anyone to make you complete. When I was your age (lol, only a year ago, if you can believe it!), I was so lonely it wasn't even funny. Soon as I started feeling less depressed? The need of a boyfriend or girlfriend lessened entirely.

And if you really want someone (and can't find someone), I recommend writing stories about an imaginary girlfriend/boyfriend. It helps the loneliness, a lot. I had an imaginary boyfriend, his family, and his superpowers (dragon shape-shifter, anyone?) all thought up. It helped me feel less lonely, and it was something that I had a lot of fun with.

Otherwise, I have nothing.


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1. Do what you want within the bounds of reason, whenever you want to, and regret nothing. 2. If you have an opinion, don't beat around the bush, or there isn't a point in saying it. 3. Don't keep the company of anyone who won't like you and will try to change you.



   
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Re: i really dont think i can ever get better - March 13th 2011, 10:19 PM

Hey Sarah,

The age card can be played. Consider the fact that even though you may still be more mature mentally, you're still a teen physically.

Lets put it this way, when you're a teenager, your hormones are going CRAZY. They're probably the cause to all these feelings you're having. The Depression, the Anxiety, the suicidal feelings, they can probably all be accounted for by your teenage hormones.

Before you get offended by that remark, I'm not saying you're not going through problems. What I am saying though, is it's most likely temporary. If you're struggling, I'd honestly suggest that you see a counselor or therapist, whether through your school, or wherever else you can see somebody. Having somebody to talk to about your problems, and to help you come up with constructive solutions and coping skills, would probably prove very beneficial.


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Overall, Dare to be yourself.

Stamp Out Prejudice Hatred and Intolerance Everywhere
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Re: i really dont think i can ever get better - March 13th 2011, 11:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thirteen View Post
Hey Sarah,

The age card can be played. Consider the fact that even though you may still be more mature mentally, you're still a teen physically.

Lets put it this way, when you're a teenager, your hormones are going CRAZY. They're probably the cause to all these feelings you're having. The Depression, the Anxiety, the suicidal feelings, they can probably all be accounted for by your teenage hormones.

Before you get offended by that remark, I'm not saying you're not going through problems. What I am saying though, is it's most likely temporary. If you're struggling, I'd honestly suggest that you see a counselor or therapist, whether through your school, or wherever else you can see somebody. Having somebody to talk to about your problems, and to help you come up with constructive solutions and coping skills, would probably prove very beneficial.
first of all its been happening since i was 10, but rapidly getting worse. its not just some temporary teenage "depression" im homeschooled, so nobody there, and my dad wont take me to see someone.
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Re: i really dont think i can ever get better - March 13th 2011, 11:19 PM

but thanks eldora.
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Re: i really dont think i can ever get better - March 13th 2011, 11:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paix et Amour View Post
first of all its been happening since i was 10, but rapidly getting worse. its not just some temporary teenage "depression" im homeschooled, so nobody there, and my dad wont take me to see someone.
It may be temporary, actually. Don't assume it isn't. Teenagers start going through life changes between 9-14, including starting to get their menstrual cycle, and the hormonal fluctuations.

Point is, suicide isn't the answer. Whether its the hormones, or even if it DOES happen to be Depression, its temporary. Even Depression can be treated. You just have to talk to your parents, and if not them, then another trusted adult. Do you have other family members? Friends' parents? These are others who you can turn to for help.


Dare to be Different, to be Weird, to be a Freak.
Overall, Dare to be yourself.

Stamp Out Prejudice Hatred and Intolerance Everywhere
The Sophie Lancaster Foundation




Last edited by Rob; August 24th 2012 at 10:34 PM.
   
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Re: i really dont think i can ever get better - March 14th 2011, 01:14 AM

Thirteen, I don't think you truly grasp this situation. Some parents can be extremely overprotective, to the point where they don't want you to be 'exposed' to bad influences. These 'bad influences' can be everywhere. It can be your 'rapist' uncle (who's actually just normal), it can be your 'tightwad, disrespectful' aunt, it can be the cousin who's a little too interested in boys (therefore a 'w****', therefore a bad influence and unallowed to visit).

It could be the random girl at the library who talks too much and is too infatuated with Jonas Brothers and is in the same situation you are, it could be the nice boy who flirts with you at the library ("Oh, what if he kisses you! You're too young to be kissed!"), it could be the Wiccan woman at the end of your road, it could be the girl who's Christian parents won't let her touch the phone or e-mail or listen to anything other than Gospel music, for fear she might become influenced by 'non-Christian' views, just because she might make you think that that's the way you have to be to be a Christian.

The point is, to a lot of parents who homeschool, harmful people can be everywhere. They don't understand that they themselves are actually harming you, only that someone other than them may hurt you. It's honestly a very hard situation to get out of, and one that I think should be ranked up there with sexual abuse, as this type of abuse (I'll call it 'mental abuse') can be very damaging and can very easily make someone feel so hopeless that they end up killing themself in the end. It's like you're a pet bird that desperately wants to fly and leave its cage, but can't because someone refuses to let you out, and you can't work the cage door yourself, so you stop eating and slowly wither like an old corn husk.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

You're very welcome, Sarah. Feel free to talk to me anytime; I like to talk, and I'm on here a lot of the time. If you want to go to a public school, have you talked to your dad about wanting to go? He may or may not understand, but it's surely worth a try. And if he doesn't listen to that, then convince him that you need to go to the doctor and tell your doctor that you are extremely lonely, depressed, and are having suicidal thoughts, and tell them that your father/parents is refusing to let you leave your home when you know that you need to.

Unlike Thirteen, I believe your situation is not normal, even for a 'hormonal adolescent'. Sure, it may be normal to be sad and angry from time to time, but being sad from time to time shouldn't include thoughts of suicide and the feeling of utter hopelessness that comes from depression. When I started my period, I'll admit I was a bit down in the mouth about it, but my depression came long before the so-called 'hormonal teenager stage' came to be.


Anna's Personal Keys to Happiness
1. Do what you want within the bounds of reason, whenever you want to, and regret nothing. 2. If you have an opinion, don't beat around the bush, or there isn't a point in saying it. 3. Don't keep the company of anyone who won't like you and will try to change you.




Last edited by Rob; August 24th 2012 at 10:34 PM.
   
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Re: i really dont think i can ever get better - March 14th 2011, 03:02 AM

ive told him i want to see someone so its not that
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