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Freakshow Offline
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So I just had an epiphany... - March 18th 2011, 11:39 PM

Honestly, if I mysteriously disappear off the surface of the earth one day, nobody will mind a bit. They probably will notice, but they will either a) react with indifference or b) be overjoyed.

I can skip school most days and have nobody ask why. I can miss going to church and nobody will know the difference. The school newspaper can find a new editor now since the first issue's already finished and they can just recycle the old template that I created and apply it to all future issues. Since I won't be around to play the piano anymore, my mom will be able to supervise my sister more closely and make sure she practices more often. My parents complain about my flaws all the time, and I stress them out a lot, so I imagine they'd be really relieved if I was killed in a freak accident. Actually, that would work out perfectly for them since they wouldn't have to care about me anymore AND they'd get a nice sum from the insurance company for my death so they could cover my younger sister's college tuition AND not have to pay mine at all! Bonus!

There's a bunch of other things too, such as this mini-rivalry that's going on between me and this other girl since her own ego is too inflated to fully accept the fact that there are people who are also very high academic achievers (gasp!), so that will turn out well too for her since she won't have to hate anyone anymore. And then I won't ever get to experience any more failures and won't get to feel anything at all, just numbness, blissful numbness...
   
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Re: So I just had an epiphany... - March 19th 2011, 12:25 AM

...aaaaaand apparently I suck at helping others too! Hurray! Add that to my ever-growing list of reasons why this world would be a better place without me in it.
   
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Re: So I just had an epiphany... - March 19th 2011, 01:08 AM

Sweetheart listen, you have to give yourself a chance. You haven't even grown up yet. You don't know your potential honey. You could change this whole damn world and you'll never have the chance if you don't push through the tough times. Don't let anyone make you feel like your not worth it. You deserve to be happy and live a full life. Don't let anybody tell you any different.


Just Keep Breathing
   
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Re: So I just had an epiphany... - March 19th 2011, 02:55 AM

Well, I know I'm not that old. But if this is what life is going to be like, then I can predict that the rest of the time isn't really going to be worth it either....
   
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Re: So I just had an epiphany... - March 19th 2011, 03:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Freakshow View Post
Well, I know I'm not that old. But if this is what life is going to be like, then I can predict that the rest of the time isn't really going to be worth it either....
Things are going to get better for you. Even though you think your family doesn't care, and the rest of the world doesn't care about you, that isn't true. You are an amazing person. You are in charge of the school newspaper. You are playing the piano. You have all these things going on in your life to motivate you, yet you seem like your purpose in life is to be non-existent. I don't want you to think like that. If you have problems with your family, you need to talk it out, like families do. Sit down and find a quiet time, and explain what is on your mind. Write your feelings down in a journal. Go outside a jog, or run, to calm yourself down. Don't feel that you are good for nothing, and that you don't have any purpose living. You do. You have lots of activities in your life, that you strive upon.


You've had a landscaper and a house keeper since you were born
The sunshine always kept you warm.
   
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Re: So I just had an epiphany... - March 19th 2011, 05:15 AM

Why thank you Your post actually made me smile (which is something that rarely happens over the internet, ha!), so thanks so much for the kind words. I'm just feeling as though I'm in a vacuum of sorts -- kind of like, I'm here doing my own thing in my own bubble and no matter how hard I try to reach out to others, they never respond. :/
   
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Re: So I just had an epiphany... - March 19th 2011, 03:33 PM

I feewl the same. I have no friends, I'm a burden to my mother and god knows why, I often feel terrible as well, but what gets me through it is thinking about how much I want to stick it to all those people who make me feelt his way. They hate me, and yet for every waking moment I'm alive I'm making them angry, frustrated. That's what gets me through every bad day.
   
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Re: So I just had an epiphany... - March 20th 2011, 02:13 AM

People would care. Your family would care, you aren't just a monetary concern to them. If your parents talk about your flaws, at least that means they care enough that they want you to improve at whatever you do. Yup newspaper editor, piano player, best student, totally not very important to lots of people .(Hear the sarcasm?)
You are a highly successful person with a great future in front of you.
BTW, if you want funny, see this. It's tongue in cheek, obviously, put it has some real points.
http://www.cracked.com/article_15658...ide-guide.html
Love,
Annali


"Every mushroom cloud has a silver lining"- Owl City
   
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Re: So I just had an epiphany... - March 20th 2011, 07:05 AM

Hahahaha! I'm not going to lie; that was pretty funny. Thanks so much annali!
   
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Re: So I just had an epiphany... - March 22nd 2011, 03:23 AM

You're welcome


"Every mushroom cloud has a silver lining"- Owl City
   
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Re: So I just had an epiphany... - March 22nd 2011, 06:10 AM

There's another thing I can't really lie about either, though (and unfortunately it ties back into the main subject of the thread). When you rarely hear any kind words from those who are *supposed* to love you the most, what exactly does that mean about you as a person if even those closest to you don't seem to like you at all?

Perhaps I'd rather not find out...
   
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