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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Plan - March 19th 2011, 02:47 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I have planned my death. And there is absoluly nobody I can tell.


Peace...Love.....Swim & Polo!!!
   
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Re: Plan - March 19th 2011, 04:02 AM

Let's talk about this. What is on your mind? What is bothering you? What has been going on? Is it really worth it? Nobody here wants you to do this. We love you too much. I know that it seems like this is the only choice, and you even have a date planned, but please don't go along with this. You are too great of a person to give into something like that. At least let us know what is going on. We want to help you. Let's dissect this. You are loved. Even though you feel as though you are in a bottomless pit, you are not. You are in a safe haven here, and you can explain anything to us. We just don't want you to hurt yourself. Think of all the people who would be upset if you went along with it. Let's just talk it out. We love you.


You've had a landscaper and a house keeper since you were born
The sunshine always kept you warm.
   
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Re: Plan - March 19th 2011, 04:31 AM

hi pologirl...

oh hun...whats making you feel so bad the suicide is the only option..whats making you feel so sad...

we are all here to help you hun..just open up to us...we will be here for you...

as know..my pm box is always open..u can always send me a message..

hope this helps
Drew
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Re: Plan - March 19th 2011, 04:33 AM

I've tried to be optimistic for so long but it's just been too long that things haven't been good and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of forcing myself to go on each day, tired of forcing myself to be "fake happy" so things will run smoother. Honestly nobody would be sad to see me gone I am a burden on everyone and I'm tired of it. My parents could stick all thier attention on my perfect bro and have to listen to me. And my friends, well apperently I'm freak so all my friends are kinda there not true friends I trust. But hey I trust very few people anyone, I hate trusting people because they always let me down. So
those select few I "trust" are hard to talk to and even then I don't trust them much. So yea.


Peace...Love.....Swim & Polo!!!
   
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Re: Plan - March 19th 2011, 04:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by pologirl View Post
I've tried to be optimistic for so long but it's just been too long that things haven't been good and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of forcing myself to go on each day, tired of forcing myself to be "fake happy" so things will run smoother. Honestly nobody would be sad to see me gone I am a burden on everyone and I'm tired of it. My parents could stick all thier attention on my perfect bro and have to listen to me. And my friends, well apperently I'm freak so all my friends are kinda there not true friends I trust. But hey I trust very few people anyone, I hate trusting people because they always let me down. So
those select few I "trust" are hard to talk to and even then I don't trust them much. So yea.
listen to me sweetie..i know how you feel..because i feel the same way..its very easy to put on a brave face in front of people ...when inside you dying..i do it everyday...

well that is were you are wrong..i for starters would be devastated to see something bad happen to you..

i can see where you are going with the attention thing..i have two older brothers ..and i was the youngest...and they were into sports ,,and i wasnt...so i feel like i got treated differntly by them..

i dont feel that you are a freak at all..i think u are brave for saying how you feel..most people..they keep it to themselves..

i will make you a promise pologirl..i will be your freind..and i swaer to you that i wont let you down..

u can always come to me..i will be here for you
Drew
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Re: Plan - March 19th 2011, 03:44 PM

I have no friends as well, not one. It is partly my choice, but often I long for someone to just care about teen things like video games, music and movies.

I have a really rough family life, my mom is depressive, and has actually told me she likes my brother and sister more than me. My dad, the one person who gives a damn works out of town. It's kind of like their divorced, because I don't see him around alot, and they fight alot when he is around (My mom starts every single fight though.)

But you know what, killing myself would acomplish nothing. My dad is a strong and kind person (The other day my mom was yelling at him over the phone about our internet, which is slow, we're looking to change providers, but would need to set up a new satelite in our yard, and take down the old one. He sincerly answered "On one of my days off I'll spend the whole day working on it to make you guys happy.") and my death would only hurt him. My mom wouldn't care so it wouldn't acomplish anything with her, I mean she's already as sad as a person can get. My sister is moving to lawschool soon, and by killing myself I would only screw up her focus and grades. My brother is only ten, and even though he hits and teases me and tells if I hit or tease him back, that would scar him forever. Being a terrible, spoiled person is what being ten is about. I would make him sad forever.

I'm sure if you explained your story again and looked at how it would change without you (For real, don't just think everyone will be happier.) and you'll probably find suicide isn't really a good choice.

Today is a good day for both me, and my mother. It's rare that we both feel good at the same time. On one those days it's easy to preach, but come on, you need to honestly think this through. Think of all the dreams you're giving up. Things you've wanted to do, like seeing that movie that comes out friday, or attending a nice school, or being on TV and in every magazine. I'm sure one of those applies to you, you just have to find what you want from life. If you want to take your own life, do it. But I really doubt that's truly what you want.
   
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Re: Plan - March 19th 2011, 08:15 PM

Drew- thanks for being my friend. I hate that still feel suicidal it sucks. i have a countdown on facebook but know one knows what the count down is for people just like it, so they're liking that i'm going to kill myself.

JKmadu619- I really appreciate what you're saying and i'm really trying to look at my life that way but it's really hard.


Peace...Love.....Swim & Polo!!!
   
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Re: Plan - March 19th 2011, 10:50 PM

I understand. It IS hard. Things are hard, but really it isn't your fault. Saying it outloud always makes me feel better. It's not my fault, and it doesn't really matter. So what if you have no (Or few) friends, it's not your fault that others don't reconize how cool you are. If you family is rough, it's not your fault. If you're doing bad in school, it's not your fault. You can only try as hard as YOU can, everyone else is just fluff, icing and sugar. Everyone knows those things are fine, but only the cake matters, the substance, you.

No one else will be around forever. They will move on, die. Only you will be with yourself forever.

- Justin
   
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Re: Plan - March 19th 2011, 11:13 PM

Ive tried killin myself 2 times n it didnt work. Ive tried to over dose on pills n tried to hang myself but it didnt work. seemed like i couldnt do it. I dont have the strengh to live but im trying to push myself but everyday its good n bad n sometimes i want to give up. people tell me tat its not the solution. your suppose to live. My friend killed him self 3 years ago by hanging himself. I felt really sad bc he did tat. but i knew tat when he went i was going to end up having a bad life.

You should try to live but when you gotta give up then tats our choice no one cant stop us unless they find us doing it. I told everyone wat ive did n i was waiting on myself to die. but it didnt work...soo idk...Please if i can live then you can. But when something really kills you to give up then you have to. Its worth it then living on this earth n makin mistakes all the time n cant do anything to make anyone happy.

So try to live! Im here PM anytime


R.I.P
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He was a Awesome Kid
I Love you n Miss you


You learn at a certain pace. Then that pace goes away. Then

you try and try to do everything you can. Then it gets harder.

Then you give up. Then its all over.

Leslie
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Re: Plan - March 20th 2011, 01:35 AM

I really don't know if i can do it. I'm home alone tonight and i've just written all my suicide letters, and printed them out ready. I know this isn't a good thing but it just felt sooo right.


Peace...Love.....Swim & Polo!!!
   
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