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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
1979. Offline
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There isn't anything here for me anymore. - March 26th 2011, 08:40 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I've tried to get through this depression, I really have. It's been this way for a while now and I hate it. I decided to graduate high school early, what a mistake. Now I just sit at home lonely, with no one here. My mom works a lot, which isn't her fault, she's trying to provide for us, and I appreciate that. But sometimes it gets awful lonely just sitting by yourself all day. I feel like isolating everyone and I can't help but want to just end it. As much as I want to hang on, I have three months until I move to California, and it's my golden ticket out of here, and as much as I feel I need to wait it gets difficult. I feel worthless, stupid, like I have no purpose here. I feel I don't matter to anyone, and why should I? I'm heart broken, pissed off, lonely, my feelings aren't even doing anything good for me, let alone other people. This life thing is getting old, and it'd be so much easier just to end it. I don't even have the energy to try to end it, I just want to lay in my bed and not wake up. My chest feels heavy like I can't breathe, like everything is over.


Forgiveness is for you, not the other person. If you don't forgive people you give them control over you. They are living their life and you're up at night thinking about all the things they've done to you. - Madea Goes To Jail.
   
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Re: There isn't anything here for me anymore. - March 26th 2011, 11:16 PM

Hello,
I know the feeling too, when it feels like there is nobody or nothing here for you. It is a very miserable one indeed. From my perspective it seemed like nothing would change, that things would remain the same for the long-term, but a sudden turn of events for the better took me by surprise. Now my life is a lot better than I thought it could ever get. The good thing is that you know that with a few months time, that things would start improving then, I did not have the luxury of a such a projection. I think the best thing to do would be to keep looking forward to what you have ahead of you, to focus on the positives. Remember, happier times lay ahead, and there is a lot to live for.
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