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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Ali Bali Offline
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Unhappy What am i doing? - March 28th 2011, 08:21 PM

ok i'm sorta new at this so here it goes

i started to hurt myself and only have the continuous thoughts of killing myself i have tried keeping it all private but well people started seeing the problems. one of the few who figured it all out has become angry about what i'm doing, now she won't talk to me when she does she only yells. I don't know what to do it's all my fault but she doesn't realise that by doing this she is making it worse. i'm so confused. i'm making everyone hate me and it's making me feel even more alone.

hope that makes sense i'm not great at explaining things
   
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Re: What am i doing? - March 28th 2011, 08:28 PM

Hi. Welcome to TH, Im Leslie n im here to help.

please dont hurt yourself. It sounds like you been through alot. your friend sounds like shes being mean toward you when you there is something wrong with you. Shes needs to look at wats wrong sted of yelling at you n its not your fault why your feeling this way. you sort of have problems. Tell her if she doesnt seems to stop yelling then shes not a good friend to you. Shes needs to be supportive n hear wats wrong. Dont let her bother you. Wats Been going on with you?

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You learn at a certain pace. Then that pace goes away. Then

you try and try to do everything you can. Then it gets harder.

Then you give up. Then its all over.

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Re: What am i doing? - March 29th 2011, 04:57 AM

hey hun. it's not your fault. people just don't understand what you are going through. they don't want to understand or listen. when really they should. it's not your fault. you have to keep telling yourself that or you will feel worse then you do now.
They just want to push themselves away. Maybe seek therapy or something? or explain why you having these feelings and acts of hurting yourself. but i can tell you it never helps. you may think it helps now but in the end its just another scar to remember of all the terrible things you went through.
im here for you an want to help you through this. i have faith in you that you can get past this terrible part of your life. message me if you ever need to talk.
   
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Re: What am i doing? - March 29th 2011, 04:50 PM

Hey there, welcome to teenhelp

I want to start by saying that nobody hates you. People love you and I feel pretty confident in saying that there is a high chance that the person who did find out and became angry is because they know how bad you're feeling and that you want to hurt yourself in purpose and that can be a pretty hard thing to take in about someone you love and care for. I am no at all saying them behaving this way is right or okay and I can understand why it makes you feel guilty and like its all your fault, but you can't blame yourself. You don't want this nor did you ask for it. You are not to blame to feel this way.

Having suicidal thoughts is a really difficult thing to experience. Its not nice to have these thoughts and they can be really overwhelming and make us feel really bad. Although at times suicide seems like the best way and maybe the only way out of this, it isn't, at all. Its the worst way out. Giving up is the worst thing you can do. You have to keep fighting through all the long days and dark nights and beat this thing so you can come out the other side and life a happy life and be the person you want to be. And its not going to be easy at all, in fact it may just be the hardest thing that you ever do in your life but in the end it will be so worth it.

Self harm again is a difficult thing to deal with. It can become an addiction and we can find ourselves trapped in this viscous circle and that cycle can be really hard to break. But just because its hard doesn't mean you can't beat it. If it was easy, you would learn nothing at of any of this. I want to really encourage you to use alternatives to self harm. Not everything will work for you but there will be ones which do help you. Don't let the ones which don't help put you down, keep on trying new things.

You're worth so much more than all of this and you can become a happier person and live a life with out self harm and be free of suicidal thoughts. I know things are hard for you right now but they can and will get better, they really can.

Stay strong and keep your chin up.

Jessie.


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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