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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Krystalll Offline
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Im scared of myself. - March 28th 2011, 11:49 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I dont know what to do anymore. Im in this deep depression that I feel like I could have prevented. I hate myself, and Im so scared that Im gonna go off one day and just kill myself. I have to walk away from my kitchen sometimes because I feel like if I get to close to the knives, Ill wanna take my life with one. It doesnt help that my dads never home, my moms emotionally unstable, and my sisters hundreds of miles away at college. Im alone, and im terrified. Any help would be gladly excepted.
   
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Re: Im scared of myself. - March 29th 2011, 12:00 AM

im sorry that you feel that bad i know what you mean when you say you're alone :/ have you got any close friends/relatives who you can talk to? PM me if you need to talk xx
   
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Re: Im scared of myself. - March 29th 2011, 12:45 AM

Im so sorry to hear you are stuggling with depression I understand I have depression too. Maybe look for a therapist they can help you battle this depression they can get you meds for it which will make you feel better and more happy.

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Re: Im scared of myself. - March 29th 2011, 03:52 AM

I'm sorry that you are feeling this way. I am here to be a shoulder to cry on. I hope you feel better. and i can say from experience that i have been in that deep downward spiral for a long time and i couldn't come back, it takes alot of hard work with fixing yourself and putting the pieces back together. It's gonna take a while but in the end it will be worth it. Something good is always worth the wait. I have faith in you. Keep holding on.
Message me anytime if you wanna talk.
   
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Re: Im scared of myself. - March 29th 2011, 08:12 AM

Hey Krystal.

It sucks that you're feeling this way, it really does. But you've already taken a big step in the right direction - making this thread. You're reaching out for help, and that's what we're here for. It shows that you want to get better, and that you're willing to work to make that happen.

What makes you think like you could have prevented this depression? You shouldn't beat yourself up - literally or figuratively - over this, because it's not your fault you have depression. And even if it were, dwelling on that now isn't going to help. The best thing to do is accept that this is where you are, and that you have the power to move on from here.

If you want, here's a list of hotlines you can call. These people are trained to help, and they can really make a difference. Talking to somebody about how you're feeling can help make the feelings less scary, or even help you figure out what to do with them.

I know I can't fully understand what you're going through, but I know a bit about how you're feeling. I know what it's like to be forced to stay away from sharp objects, medicine cabinets, even train tracks, simply because the thought of ending my life like that is so strong. But the fact that you actively walk away from the kitchen shows that some part of you doesn't want you to kill yourself, which is good to know. Find that part of you, and hold onto it.

Do you want to talk about why you want to end your life? Has something happened to make you feel this way?

I hope you feel better soon.

Take care.


if you know the hunter's coming
then you hide or keep on running
'cause she's slain the gods before.
   
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