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Tourniquet Offline
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Alone forever. - March 29th 2011, 01:17 PM

Its rather hard to explain but ever since my friends have gone to uni, they've been getting boyfriends and its making me jealous. When we were at school none of us had them but since they've been to uni everything has changed. I know I should be happy for them but I just can't be. I've been depressed for years and have really bad self-esteem/confidence, the worst thing is I have trouble talking to boys and I'm more comfortable around girls. I just want anyone but that doesn't seem possible for me. I feel like I'm going to be a virgin for the rest of my life, any encounters near guys just makes me nervous. Nothing traumatic had happened to me in the past so I don't understand what the problem is, since school I haven't been out much since all my friends are at uni.

Its just making me so depressed that I feel like dying, I've had thoughts of dying in my mind but never thought to go through with it but everytime I hear another one of my friends having a boyfriend it just pushes me a little further.
   
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Re: Alone forever. - March 29th 2011, 07:11 PM

Aw sweetie you will find someone thats a promise. Its not your fault that you feel jealous or that you feel scared of guys. Everyone feels lonely and depressed sometimes but yours sounds a lot more serious. Have you considered talking to a doctor? they can keep it confidential if your embarassed and they can subscribe you things that should help. Jealousy is natural you want someone and you feel its unfair that they should have one when you dont. But you have to understand they are probably really happy, what i would recomend would be to talk to them. I knwo it could and can be scary but it will help loads. if they really are your friends they will understand and they could probably set you up with their bf's mates or soemthing. hope you find someone, and try and find what it is that scares you about guys? it could just be its the grat unknown and thats allways goign to be scary. it will come <3 pm me if you nede anything xxx good luck


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Re: Alone forever. - March 31st 2011, 02:23 PM

I don't know what it is about them that scares me. Maybe something happened to me in the past and I blocked it out. There's something in the back of my mind that keeps telling me that there's nothing here for me and that I should just go, its just becoming more tempting.
   
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