never felt this hopless before...the end if so coming

sincerely_yours91

I don't know if this will trigger anyone or not but i guess ill lable it as so just incase...
I cant say that I remember a time when I've felt like there was absolutely nothing to live for. The last few nights have been so hard dispite these huge accomplishments I've had. That is what is confuseing me I guess, I have had so many good things happen latly and its like i fail to get happy from any of them, like I just couldn't care less. Nothing and no one is able to make me happy and last night I almost cut deep enough for there to be some serious problems and I didn't care, I only stopped b/c my brother was knocking at the door. I don't know why I'm like this, I don't know what is setting it off like I should be happy right now and I'm not. I feel like I have no reason to stick around. I could careless about my future, I'm sure me tiny, stupid dreams wont come true anyways. My family is, ruined. I have very few friends b/c ive pushed everyone away, and even though they keep trying they have no idea how much I am keeping from them, and I am not willing to open up. I am sick of things changeing around me, it is just to hard and so much has changed so fast. I never believed in love so, not going to stick around for someone to prove that love is real there is sooo no point. I am sick of hearing, please stay for me, why should i put myself through so much hell for ppl who come in and out of my life...and even if they aren't going to come in and out I still shouldnt stick around just to make them happy. I am soooo lost I just don't even know what to do anymore. This is just ridiculous how much I could care less if I got hit my a car or if my house caught fire and i slept right through the alarm, or if I "accidently" went a little too fast on the road. I've actually got a few plans in my head and I am not sure how much longer I'm going to be able to hold out...

=\ idk how to save me from me...

Photographylove217

Please don't doing anything drastic. I know what you mean by the not caring. It feels like it just doesn't matter, right? Why bother caring, being happy, that just takes too much energy, it's not worth it? But it is worth it. Please, trust me, I've felt that way for a long time, and the only thing that got me through it were the people that cared. Why exactly don't you want to open up to your friends? I can understand not wanting to tell them all, but why not just one? The friend that you know will help you, and you know that you can trust. Try telling them. See what happends, because more often than not, the person that will care the most is right there, comletely clueless. Try opening up to just one person and see what happends. BEst of luck. I'm here too if you want to talk. Just drop me a PM or an EMail.

MadPoet

Hey Lace.
Doesn't sound like things are going so awesome right now, but I want you to know that you are not without hope. It might sound cliche, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I promise that you'll be able to reach it within time. Sometimes that is all it takes - time. Time can take us anywhere. I know what it is like to feel as if you don't care, and I've been there a lot to, and still am occasionally. But I guarantee that there is still a fire somewhere inside, and you really do care, even if you might not feel it as much as you would like. If you didn't care, you wouldn't have posted this here. If you didn't care at all, you'd already be gone. But somewhere deep down you do care - and it shows when you post something like this, it shows that you really are at least a little bit concerned about what you go through.

I'm not sure what else to say, besides that I know things will get better for you, if you just give it some time and try to pull through whatever it is your facing. It's not impossible to make it through, I promise. You've had enough strength to get this far, so I truly believe that you also have enough strength to move forward even farther.

If you ever need to chat, I'm always here. Hang in there. xx