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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Help? - March 30th 2011, 10:16 AM

I'm so lost. It takes so much effort everyday to just make myself get up in the morning. I'm tired of pretending to be happy and lying to everyone. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep. Sometimes I want to die, but I remember my friend's aunt who killed herself and how sad everybody felt and I can't bring myself to do it. The last person I told about this said I was a burden and that I'm lucky because I have people who care about me and now that conversation keeps playing in my mind. I really looked up to her and I trusted her. I've never been good at trusting people and she was the only one I could trust enough to tell. I'm just a kid. It's not supposed to be like this right? Everyone else is happy and I don't understand why I'm not. I just want to be normal.
   
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Re: Help? - March 30th 2011, 12:37 PM

Hey! I feel exactly the same! :/ I just want to be normal too! And i cant bring myself to tell anyone about how i feel :/ You're not a burden and it's not your fault that you feel this way. xx
   
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Re: Help? - March 31st 2011, 10:31 AM

I don't know who else I can talk to about this. My friends just don't get it, or they don't care, and I'm not close with my mom, because I can't remember ever bonding with her. The only parts of my childhood that I really remember are hiding in the closet and trying to block out the sound of my parents screaming at each other, the day my dad came home drunk and almost hit my sister, the day my dad left, and after that it's blank until I turned 14. It's like I went from 6 to 14 in one day. I'm terrified of what will happen if I tell. I don't wanna be a burden, or a failure, or some kind of freak. But, if going from being a little kid to a teenager is this hard, I don't think I want to know what happens next.
   
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Re: Help? - March 31st 2011, 03:56 PM

i havent told anyone, i just hate telling people how i feel :/ if i told my friends i dont think they'd understand, they would probably try to act like they did but i know they wouldnt. I think it will get better once we get older and can move on and stuff. I hope it will anyway :/ I'm sorry that i cant really give you any advice, i guess im still looking for some too atm PM me if you ever need to talk though xx
   
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Re: Help? - March 31st 2011, 04:45 PM

Hey there.

I'm really sorry that you're going through such a rough time and that you're feeling so low right now. Having suicidal thoughts is a really hard thing to deal with.

Firstly,I want you to know that you're not alone in this and that you are not the only person who feels like this and has gone through similar thoughts and emotions. I know sometimes it can feel like that and we ask ourselves why is this happening to me, but you honestly are not alone in this. A lot of other people in the world do feel like this or have done in the past. And you know what? A good damn lot of them managed to get through it and reach a state of happiness again and so can you!

Is there anything in particular which is making you feel so low and is causing you to have suicidal thoughts? If you do know something is triggering it and you want to talk about it you're more than welcome to do so with us. If you're not sure perhaps it's something you could think about and try and find out if there is anything which is bringing you down so much.

Have you got anyone to talk to at all? Even if you don't know what is causing you to feel this way or even if you think there is nothing in particular to trigger you to feel like this, just talking about our feelings and thoughts can really help. You can try talking to friends, family members, us here at teenhelp, a teacher, a school nurse/counselor or a doctor. You could even look in to counseling. It might really help you. You never ever have to be alone in this. People care about you and love you and they can help you but you have to let them in to do so.

I know things are hard right now but they can get better so don't even give up. Keep your chin up and keep on fighting, it won't be like this for ever.

Look after yourself.
Jessie.


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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