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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Lovehatelife23 Offline
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Tired of hanging on! - March 31st 2011, 01:54 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I Hate my Life. It never seems to get better. My mom always wants to be with her friend n never be with us. She always seems to run away from us. I know her friend is sick right now. But still she never has time with us. She never want to bc with us. Shes never happy around us. Why idk anymore. My mom is a BITCH! My dad just lets her do watever she wants but sometimes he doesnt care.
My dad: Wat can we do with her acting like tat?
Me: Idk!
Dad: Well we cant. Shes going to do watver she wants.
my dad drinks like 4 to 6 glasses of alcohol every day! Why idk! he told me tat his doctor told him he could but not tat many. Tats drinking to much! He sometimes get tipsy! HE Craves it all the time! OMG! My little brother is a brat. He agrvates me. Im on my own living with my parents. I dont have nothing to live for! I hate Myself!

She pushed us away. When i want her to take me somewhere or take me to my friends she always says no im not! Then my dad has to make her then she Gets Pissed off. I hate her for wat shes doing to me. Me n her used to be very close but not anymore bc she turned like this. I hate her I hate my Life I hate everything! Im tired of Hanging on all the time. I want to fall! I want to let go! I want to say goodbye! I want them to regret everything tat they did to me! I want them to be sad bc ive killed myself. I want them to be upset bc i gave up my life for no reason or for a reason tat i cant stand. Why You do this to ME! Why You want me to Live when im just suffering! Well I HATE YOU!


R.I.P
CJ Collins 1993-2008
He was a Awesome Kid
I Love you n Miss you


You learn at a certain pace. Then that pace goes away. Then

you try and try to do everything you can. Then it gets harder.

Then you give up. Then its all over.

Leslie
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pixietheangel Offline
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Re: Tired of hanging on! - March 31st 2011, 04:09 PM

Omg ok aw im so sorry you have to put up with this. First of all you probably think i dont but i understand hwo you are feeling. like your not good enough,. theres no point living, that no one would mis you when your gone? But yh i do. I went trhough the thinking of suicide pahse and self harming. Have you tried talking to your mum? you say your used to be close so perhaps you can recapture that. i dont know what shes going trhough but i suggest you try talking to her,. i will be hard and scary but yh. Is there any teachers you can talk to at school? so that you can tell them whast happening, about your dad being an alchaholic and your mum neglecting you? they are trained to lsiten, understand and will be able to help you move on to the nexct stage. I am not sure what you can do about your dad exept tell someone-a teacher, your mum, his doctor, or talk to him about it. Do your friends know? they wont be able to change the situation at home but it wil be so useful to have them for moral support seriously. Try and ask your parents if you can see a councellor or go to a guidance group or something because im sure it will help you to talk it out. Next time your feeling suicidal or depressed/upset try calling someone. Anyone you trust. Just get it out of your system. But please dont kill yourself its not worth it. Your better than this and you dont deserve to be treated the way you are but rise above it and you can get through this. You are super strong to have madr it this far, dont let yourself down now. xx PM me if your feeling upset again or need to talk r anything xx <3 love pixie


Change the voices in your head,
make them like you instead
   
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Lovehatelife23 Offline
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Re: Tired of hanging on! - March 31st 2011, 04:51 PM

I have a therapist n i do tell her everything. ya i think my dad is a alcohollic but he doesnt get angry or anything like tat. When he gets tipsy he just is normal but laughing but sometimes he get mad. then he goes n drinks again. Idk how many drinks of alcohol makes a alcoholic? but idk. Ya ive tried talking to my mum but she just pushes me away. theres maybe 1 or 1 times a week i can talk to her. she likes to have her alone time when she gets away from her friend. Shes taking care of a very sick person. but she spends more time with her then us. N i understand tat her friend is sick. I like to wait till night time to talk to her when everyone is in bed. then i can have my talk but even tat she pushes me away. Shes depressed. She has problems. Shes trying to lose weight. She has alot on her mind. But sometimes shes happy n shell play around but most of the time she doesnt want us to be joking or anything bc it bothers her bc she doesnt want to hear it. Ive lost my close mum to her friend n my dad says tat when her friend dies but hes not wishing on her friend but hes just saying when she dies everything will get better but i was like ya ok watver bc it should be better now. shes always been depressed bout something all the time. I love my mom but then sometimes i dont bc of the way she is. She doesnt show me comfort or love. She shows me hate n angry. When i sleep at nite i get these bad dreams n she mostly in them n she show terrible HATE against me for some reason but in real life she does alittle bit not alot. but we all have our good n bad days. she never likes to take me anywhere. If i need to go to the store or be taking out to my friends or something she says no but then my dad gets her to do it. Im babysitting right now my little brother bc she went off to her friends house. I know i have more resposibilitys n start taking care of him but i hate hes bad towards me but when its 2 kids then it gets wrose but when its just him its ok its not tat much trouble he listens to me good. but when they r bad n i tell my dad or mom they say ok or watever. they never listen to me. When i need something or want to do something they never r happy to do it for me. IDK ANYMORE! I just im just going to fall apart peice by peice.


R.I.P
CJ Collins 1993-2008
He was a Awesome Kid
I Love you n Miss you


You learn at a certain pace. Then that pace goes away. Then

you try and try to do everything you can. Then it gets harder.

Then you give up. Then its all over.

Leslie
  Send a message via Skype™ to Lovehatelife23 
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katie4evrr1 Offline
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Re: Tired of hanging on! - April 3rd 2011, 04:49 AM

I understand what your heading through, when my mom and dad divorced my dad ditched me and my sister. I went through severe seperation issues and cried everytime i saw my mom drive away bc i didnt know if she was coming back... When my dad finally came back into my life it was like i was shoved out of the way for my sister. I am still neglected and used to cut the word love into my arm. But... It wasn't right, i learned there was more to life and i surrounded myself with friends that understood.
If you miss your mom tell her, tell her she needs to be there for you. But you have to be there for her because she feels alone too. Dont let your self go to far or it will be the last thing you regret..
<3
   
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Lovehatelife23 Offline
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Re: Tired of hanging on! - April 3rd 2011, 02:35 PM

well i Kno i will regret it. But i always thought if i really needed to go i would. My mom has depression n i understand wats shes going though n everything. I kno its hard for me. I understand wat your saying n everything. Ill be ok. I kno i gotta live but sometimes its just hard the way life is n everything but Oh well. Thank u for giving me advice. n i will take it in consideration.

Thanks


R.I.P
CJ Collins 1993-2008
He was a Awesome Kid
I Love you n Miss you


You learn at a certain pace. Then that pace goes away. Then

you try and try to do everything you can. Then it gets harder.

Then you give up. Then its all over.

Leslie
  Send a message via Skype™ to Lovehatelife23 
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