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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Paaaul Offline
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Am I attention seeking? - April 2nd 2011, 11:53 PM

Well its been a while now.. Ive felt on and off depression throughout the days and nothing seems to help. Ive tried talking to people but it doesnt seem to help any more.

Im not even too sure what the problem is. I mean, as a person you wouldnt know im depressed at all. I try my hardest to make sure noone knows how im feeling as i believe im not worth the time.

I guess thats one of the problems. My self esteem. Its always been very low. Ive never had a girlfriend, kissed anyone (even parents) or a close relationship to anyone. Whilst i realise that im still young (16) it still hurts when you see my friends being successful in love. I believe that im vile and disgusting in the looks department - why else would nobody want me? I live in a very shallow area so theoretically i just need looks (although i would never date anyone if they wanted me just for my looks).

I always seem to be forever friend zone. People talk to me about deep and personal things. This is amazing because i like to help people but it seems like its hindering things. When i meet new people i try not to act as a 'brother' and it just ends up as people not talking to me after a while..

Also my social life is in the shit. I very occasionally go out. It seems like im a reject or my "friends" are using me for my listening when theyre down and spending time with their other friends when theyre not.. it really brings me down y'know..

I know my problems arent bad at all and for this reason i urge you to help someone else out rather than me.. i only cut and am not suicidal as of yet so your time is much better spent elsewhere.. i cant decide if im attention seeking or not..

Thankyou if youve read this far <3
   
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Re: Am I attention seeking? - April 2nd 2011, 11:58 PM

If you think you might be attention-seeking, that's something to consider. I suggest you see a therapist, so you have somebody you can talk to. A therapist can ALSO help you figure out coping mechanisms, and figure out if you have a mental illness, or if you're just having a rough time.


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Re: Am I attention seeking? - April 3rd 2011, 05:10 AM

wow, it feels like your like me.. you need to realize no matter what you will always be important and if your own friends dont make you feel that way then maybe you should look for others that understand you. I have had low self esteem for a long time, i used to cut and i still feel myself inching towards razors, and i always feel i need makeup. However, i have this one friend who has helped me through it. she reminds me i mean something and that im an amazing person...

what you need to is forget everything you hate, stand in front of a mirror and say everything you love about yourself. Your mind, your sense of humor, your eyes, your hair, your grades, anything... but ill tell you now, cutting doesn't help. It makes you feel ashamed of yourself and reminds you of everything every day. But before you start trying to date and love someone else.. you need to learn to love yourself. <3
   
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Re: Am I attention seeking? - April 3rd 2011, 09:57 AM

Wow i kind of feel the same as you, i try to pretend im alright to everyone and no one would even think for a second that i was depressed. i also have low self esteem and i think it's people like us who are more vulnerable to depression because of that! I've started cutting too, not badly but a bit coz i dont know what else to do :/ And i dont think that you're attention seeking, i think you are just feeling used and low which is understandable if you're friends only talk to you when they're down. Maybe you could try and talk to them about that? Sorry that i cant really give you any advice, i guess im still trying to find some myself!
   
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Re: Am I attention seeking? - April 3rd 2011, 10:30 AM

Reading this was like reading about myself, the similarities are amazing here. Going through pretty much exactly what you have just described I'm going to say to you some stuff I've often told myself. I understand however, it's hard taking advice, and I don't take my own, so it will probably make it harder to trust, but I don't not take it because I don't trust it, I don't because I don't feel I'm worth any help.

Basically, looks aren't everything. 16 is a young age, and love is a hard thing to find. If your friends are lucky in the 'love department' that just means they have had boyfriends and girlfriends. It doesn't men they've been in love, as that's a very strong feeling and at such a young age, I think it's pretty rare. I'm 16 this month, and like you, I've never been with anyone or kissed anyone. It's nothing to be ashamed of, it's just that you aren't jumping into commitment early like everyone else. honestly, it's fine to not have done this yet, your life is still only just beginning, and so you shouldnt woryr yourself over things like this. I mean, think about the amount of years you have left, and how many you've already had. You're going to be fine and find someone you love and who loves you.

Feeling like this is normal, especcially at this age. Teenage years are the hardest, but can also be the best. Not everyone is sociable, I'm not. I would much rather be at home on here, than be out with friends, but it doesn't mean I'm rejecting them. Sure, I like being invited places, just as everyone, but you're allowed to do what you enjoy more. Don't get yourself down, it's your own head telling you that you're rejecting them. You're not, okay?

The fact they trust you is brilliant, and you liking to help people makes it better. Just be sure that if you need help, you have someone you can trust and talk to, whether it be a good friend, a teacher, your parents or even a counsillor. It could help, just so that you know you're not on your own through this, and of course, we're all willing to help you too, so PM me if you need to talk, I'm happy to help.

I hope I've helped you a bit here.


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is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
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Re: Am I attention seeking? - April 3rd 2011, 02:21 PM

I'm with you 100% my friend.

In way of advice, the only thing I could say is work out. I, personally, love lifting weights as in the moment, you only think of pushing the iron, and nothing else. It is a phenominal escape from the world. Also, you get a better body. This works for me, and try it out if you feel up to it after that, I have nothing else. Sorry XP

Stay strong brother.
   
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