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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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I Miss You Offline
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Part V:My freind's suicide - April 3rd 2011, 07:04 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I first became involived with self help forums like this back in august of 2006...

I was missing Diana really bad..so i decided to join one

It was a really good place for me to be at the time...a lot of people depended on me..i even saved two people's lives.

Which is where this sad story begins:


One of my freinds there was a 17 year old girl named Rebeeca..

she was a very sweet girl...And we became freinds...

we would talk all the time..and we exchanged phone #..we would talk all the time...

She seemed to be doing well for the most part...but then i would read her posts and become worried...

I knew she was in trouble...I knew she was in pain..

So...on December 5th,2006..I called her..

And we were talking...and she wasnt herself..and I knew it.

Our coversation got to the point where i had to talk her out of suicide..

I kept telling her how much i cared about her..how much she meant to me..and that i loved her as a freind.

The last thing i will never forget was her telling me"im sorry,im sooo sorry,i love you but i have to go.

I was scared...i didnt know what to do...i felt so helpless.

On the night of December 6th,2006..my freind rebecca climbed up on to a bridge..and jumped to her death.she was just 17 years old.

To this day i blame myself for what happened to her..Because i knew what to do in a situation like this..Unlike the previous suicides i have gone through.

like the saying goes"what i know now is what i should have known then".

I feel i could have done so much more for her.And i didnt.

I wish i could have done something..I should have been there for her.

And once again i failed...just like i always do.I would have done anything for her.

I cant talk about this anymore..its hurting me so bad.

Drew
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Re: Part V:My freind's suicide - April 3rd 2011, 08:51 AM

aww!
you a hero!!! but don't think that it's your fault, that is the worst thing you can do. i was like this when my best friend hanged themself in thier basement. there are lots of different places you can go like youth groups and stuff if you feel this way.
   
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Re: Part V:My freind's suicide - April 3rd 2011, 08:57 AM

Hey Drew. Firstly, I'm so sorry for your loss. About three years ago, my best friend was called Caitlin, and we did everything together, she was amazing to me. But somehow, we lost contact for about a year. Then, two years ago, I got back in contact with her, and found out that since we'd last spoken she'd tried to commit suicide seven times. I wasn't there for her, and I still feel guilty to this day; I should have been there, and then maybe she wouldn't have had to put herself through so much pain.
But you were there for your friend! That's the important thing; you did everything within your power to stop her. Just because you didn't suceed, doesn't mean that it is your fault she committed suicide. Things just probably were beyond your control. And that's okay, believe me.
I think that she would be proud of you, for being able to cope with her loss. It's important now that you let go of the past and focus on the future. It's down to you now, to live the life that she couldn't. You really are an inspiration to others; you're not afraid of speaking about your feelings, and you really truly care. You're going to be fine, please stop blameing yourself. Never doubt how brilliant you are!
Hope I helped!xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


~i don't know the first time i felt unbeautiful, the day i chose not to eat. what i do know is how it changed my life forever, i know i should know better. there are days when i'm okay, and for a moment, for a moment, i find hope. but there are days when i'm not okay, and i need your help. 'cause i'm letting go..~
-Courage, Superchic[k]
   
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Re: Part V:My freind's suicide - April 3rd 2011, 09:20 AM

i failed
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Re: Part V:My freind's suicide - April 3rd 2011, 09:23 AM

i failed horribly

there is a story that i posted earlier..its titled My aunt..it doesnt have any replies...

i really need people to look at it...

how am i a inspiration?????
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