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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Katley Offline
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Not much of a Hero - April 5th 2011, 02:55 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So I was just reading another thread on this website, and it was saying that the people who told others "no" to suicide are heroes. This made me cry. I've been on the phone with people countless times, telling them no. I had to call the police once, to say NO. and I started cutting. Reading that made me realize what a total hipocrite I am. I became suicidal myself, and was thinking of how I would eventually do it. Down and down the drain. I would never regret anything that happened those nights, because I saved them, and I LOVE them more than myself. But I think that's the problem. When theyr down, I'm down. I would take on all of there problems or even kill myself if it meant they would be okay.

And then I was addicted. And how can I help them if I cant help myself. I'm not really asking advice on how to stop cutting, or even being suicidal, but I guess I just am lost. My parents told me I could never see or talk to this one friend again, who was one I convinced not to kill herself. She's my best friend.

Why


Just rise above this
Kill them with your kindness
Ignorance is blindness
They're the ones that stand to lose

'Cause they don't even know you
All they see is SCARS
They don't see the ANGEL
Living in your heart
   
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Re: Not much of a Hero - April 5th 2011, 05:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SoraKat View Post
So I was just reading another thread on this website, and it was saying that the people who told others "no" to suicide are heroes. This made me cry. I've been on the phone with people countless times, telling them no. I had to call the police once, to say NO. and I started cutting. Reading that made me realize what a total hipocrite I am. I became suicidal myself, and was thinking of how I would eventually do it. Down and down the drain. I would never regret anything that happened those nights, because I saved them, and I LOVE them more than myself. But I think that's the problem. When theyr down, I'm down. I would take on all of there problems or even kill myself if it meant they would be okay.

And then I was addicted. And how can I help them if I cant help myself. I'm not really asking advice on how to stop cutting, or even being suicidal, but I guess I just am lost. My parents told me I could never see or talk to this one friend again, who was one I convinced not to kill herself. She's my best friend.

Why

hi hun

i can understand exactly how you feel about being labeled a "hero"...

its a hard thing to hear...because i ,myself have been where you are...trying to save someone from themselves..

i had have the cops on me twice before...not really good..

but i can fully understand why you would feel like a hypocrite because i do too...but you are a really good freind who loves her freinds and would do anything to protect them...

why wont your parents let you talk to her?

hope this helps
Drew
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Re: Not much of a Hero - April 5th 2011, 07:06 AM

Hey hugs,
I was that person for people too...I'd help them get out of suicide and cutting, but in turn I'd start feeling it and I would start cutting. First off, I think that you are brave to help others! Not many can because they have so much on their own plate too, but you decided to help others. I do think of you as a hero because you were willing to help others, even if it meant that it would hurt you.

As for hurting yourself, please don't. I've been there done that, but what I've realized is it hurts so much to realize what you've done, but it hurts more to keep going on with it and knowing that you are doing that to yourself. Life IS so much better without the self-harm and without the suicidal thoughts!

Your parents are saying that because they care about you...they see that your friend affects you and they might think that talking to her and helping her might harm you. It is hard to get why parents do what they do, but do realize they do care for you and I do believe that they want you to come out of things/not be exposed to someone who could effect how you feel.

I'm sorry that all of this is happening...but please do realize that you are strong and you don't need cutting or suicide or anything like that. You can be that hero for yourself!

PM if you need to!


Leave the past behind, just walk away
When it's over, and the heart break
And the cracks begin to show

*~*~This little girl was alone in the world~*~*
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Re: Not much of a Hero - April 5th 2011, 07:26 AM

Hi Sora.

I believe that people who tell others not to commit suicide are, in fact, heroes. But I also believe that those who fight off their own suicidal urges are just as heroic. It can be hard to help friends struggling with it, but it can be as hard - if not harder - to deal with your own feelings.

Often, it's easier to give advice than to receive it. Many of us have given people advice that we're not following it ourselves - for example, telling someone not to hurt themselves when that's what you're intending to do to yourself. That doesn't so much much you a hypocrite as make you caring - if not about yourself, then for others. And while I think it's great you're such a supportive friends, taking care of yourself is also important, and you need to do everything you can to help yourself get through this, in order to continue being a good friend.

Imagine how hurt, how shocked, how confused they would feel if you went through with this. Do you really want to be the cause of so much pain? You say you love them, and would do anything for them. What if, in this case, that means being strong yourself, and fighting this? Because I really believe that's the best thing for you to do here.

As I said before, it's common to give great advice but be unable to follow it yourself. But remember that it's okay to ask for help. You've been there for your friends so many times, and I'm sure they care about you; what if it's time for the roles to be reversed for a while, and for you to accept the help that will make you better? Because I know you don't want to feel like this forever.

It's tough when parents interfere in your friendships, but they probably had a good reason for doing so. Have you sat down with them and had a sensible discussion about it? As long as both sides are rational and mature, you may be able to work things out.

Take care, okay?


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then you hide or keep on running
'cause she's slain the gods before.
   
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Re: Not much of a Hero - April 6th 2011, 12:58 AM

Drew: yea I definitely agree. Not easy at all:/ and my parents won't let me talk to her cause they saw her as a dark influence in my life, and even tho YEAH it did hurt telling her not to kill herself, she was also there for me when other people couldnt be. And that's what I needed, and still do need. I don't exactly follow the rule very much

Nikki: it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who was affected in this way. I do realize they care but sometimes I really wish they'd care a little less. Honestly half the time they don't pay attention to me unless I've done something wrong.

Chess: thank u for that. Suicide in my opinion is not an option anymore for myself. I forced myself to sit and think about what I'm leaving behind, and realized that me killing myself would not help them any, except possibly causing their deaths. I have had a discussion about it, but they really dont want to listen. Nothing I can do anymore


Thanks all three of u. It's nice to know that there are people who have been through the same things that I am, and I really appreciate the time u took to respond. Honestly, I don't feel like any hero still, because I did what i had to do and The after affects that happened to me myself were not very admirable at all, but I know that God is watching out for them. Thanks


Just rise above this
Kill them with your kindness
Ignorance is blindness
They're the ones that stand to lose

'Cause they don't even know you
All they see is SCARS
They don't see the ANGEL
Living in your heart
   
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