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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Gidig Offline
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Name: Maria
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Intense depression... - April 9th 2011, 05:56 AM

I've been diagnosed with bipolar, basically mostly being intense and extreme depression. And that's happening right now.

I've been crying all day over nothing (Which happens almost every day), and just can't stop and I don't even want to. My chest hurts, and I keep going into mini-panic attacks.

I can't control my life, and it's spiraling out of control but right now I have no one. I can't do it. I'd rather be shot, because emotional pain hurts so fucking much I'm not sure my body and mind will even make it through it.

If there's anything you guys would suggest could at least help for tonight/tomorrow that'd be great. Long-term suggestions appreciated as well. I am working on seeing a therapist, but I'm having a lot of trouble finding someone I'll open up to right now.

Honestly, I've never been this depressed at once. I feel like when I was depressed a lot around a year ago, it was half of what this is, if not less.



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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Intense depression... - April 9th 2011, 08:34 AM

Hi Maria,

I'm so sorry top hear about your diagnosis. Bipolar can be quite hard to deal with. I've watched my friend deal with it for a long while now. Sometimes those feelings have no explanation. And it will be hard to get through it. But getting past it is not impossible. It takes time, and you have to give yourself that.

What I do suggest though, is not label yourself. Yes, you have feelings of depression and sometimes intense mania. But calling yourself bipolar is only to tell people what you are facing. Sometimes, a diagnosis, like bipolar, can cause one to become more depressed because they have learned that they have what is called bipolar "disorder". I know it's hard for you to deal with. Instead, however, of thinking about it as a disorder, more of a disposition. Dispositions can be corrected with time, although, so can disorders. But thinking of it as a disorder can sometimes cause a reluctance. This is because it is so hard to accept.

Start by accepting who you are, as a person. Accept your temperament, accept your feelings. You can move on from there. And, yes, a therapist can definitely help you out there.

For immediate relief from it, I would only ask you, if you can, to not think about it at all. Or try as hard as you can. Learn to distract yourself with activities and push yourself to complete what you've set out to complete. I would also suggest telling a close friend so that they can help you keep on track and can be there to listen to you when you need immediate consoling.

If you want to talk, please don't hesitate. Take care of yourself! <3


~Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

Concrete Angel



"And so I grew from colt to stallion
As wild and as reckless as thunder over the land.
Racing with the eagle, soaring with the wind.
Flying? There were times I believed I could."




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Re: Intense depression... - April 9th 2011, 07:04 PM

Hey Maria,

I can relate, for sure. I'm not sure if we've discussed this before or not, but I have Bipolar Disorder (though not officially), and have my bad depressive episodes as well.

Honestly, do you have anybody you can talk to? If so, definitely look to the people in your life.
If not, do you have any distractions? I usually talk to my boyfriend, and have him with me, but when he's at work, I can't do that. So, I have many things to keep my mind occupied. I have paints, canvases, a sketchbook, pencils, jewelry making supplies (beads, stretchy cord, etc.), my boyfriend's old electric guitar, TV in my room, video game systems (X-Box 360, N64, SNES), and a few other things.

Working to see a therapist is definitely a positive step, but yes, of course you should find somebody you feel comfortable talking to. I understand because I'm in the process of trying to figure out professionals and diagnoses and stuff, and it's difficult. But, you just have to keep trying.

Remember, if you need to talk, feel free to PM me. I've got a pretty good idea of how you're feeling.


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Re: Intense depression... - April 12th 2011, 12:46 AM

Hey-

Thanks for the help guys. It's funny, a couple hours after I posted this it just went away, but comes back every night about the same time.

I have so much difficultly finding things to do to keep me busy. Nothing sounds entertaining or exciting. I don't really have a place of my own in my house so I don't really have a place to do much of anything besides sit on my computer in the back. I really need to move out and all that. But I have today and tomorrow off work and I'm going insane. I keep trying to get my friend that lives with me to do something, or just distract me but she isn't interested at all lol

Bleck idk. And I think part of the problem is I used to come online and have tons of people asking how I was. I could tell them I was fine and distract myself listening to what's going on in their life and all that, or get advice when I was down. And now I'm not really online as much and the one person I do talk to is never online when I am.

But I do appreciate your responses a lot. Thanks so much <3
Maria.



The best wayout is always through~
-Robert Frost

Proud member of the LGBT community.

   
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Re: Intense depression... - April 12th 2011, 08:55 AM

Hi,

That can be pretty tough on a person, and I can see how, too.
But, don't give up on yourself just yet. Don't feel that it's impossible to conquer. Yeah, sometimes, it's hard to get your friend out of the house with you, but persistence pays off! Lol. Really! Keep giving your friend a push till she finally agrees to go out for a bit with you. Or at least talk to you about how you're feeling.

If you can get into counseling, that would be a good way to take things off your mind and where you can get help. Also, it'll help you balance everything out and make it easier for you, generally.

Hope things start looking up!! <3


~Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

Concrete Angel



"And so I grew from colt to stallion
As wild and as reckless as thunder over the land.
Racing with the eagle, soaring with the wind.
Flying? There were times I believed I could."




HelpLINK Mentor - 2.4.2011
LiveHelp Operator - 18.6.2011

  Send a message via MSN to Spirit. Send a message via Skype™ to Spirit. 
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