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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Disclosure. Offline
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Unhappy Gah! - April 11th 2011, 05:40 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I can't do this anymore. I really can't. I'm finding it hard for a reason for me to still be alive. This depression is taking it's toll on me. I always feel tired. I've lost motivation and concentration. I'm failing to help people when it's my job too here on this site. I'm letting Teenhelp down because I'm a crap Live Help Operator. I'm shit at all the other positions that I'm currently holding. Why? Because I'm stupid and worthless.
All I want to do is cry. I'm failing at life. Everyone else either has a full-time job or at University, getting somewhere in life. I'm not. I've been told that I have a full-time job at this Childcare and they said they'll ring me by Friday or Monday and they haven't. They've called me to come in for 3 trails but they told me I either start at the end of this month if I have a position in the babies room or in June if I have this other position. I've been offered a place at this University but my parents don't want me to go.
I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like that everywhere I turn, I'm staring at a blank wall or that I'm at a dead end. I've finished writing my book about how I had OCD and depression but I'm afraid of sending it off to the publishers because I might get rejected like I have in the past when I had written my other book.
I feel like I can't go on because I'm hopeless.


   
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Re: Gah! - April 11th 2011, 06:52 AM

Sweetie!

Okay first, you are absolutely not worthless, you are worth something to us here on TH! If you get that job at the nursery..your are definitely worth something to those babies or toddlers there. You are worth something to your parents. You are worth something to your really close or even best friends. You are worth something...there is a reason why God put you on earth..and one reason is to be worth something.

Second, we don't care if you can't get to everything for us... what we care about here is your happiness and well being. If you are not up to par then by all means take time...all the time I promise we all understand and will love you no matter what, we just want you to be here.. and I use the word here as a generalization... here on this planet!!!

3rd, cry...scream...be silent...write... do anything to get all the pain out... its the best thing. I know what it feels like... crying is a great way to get things out.... I cry for no good reason sometimes and it always helps. You are not failing at life you just need a little help.. I won't let you fail at life! You almost have a full time job and even if you don't get it don't give up..you are still young you still got time to figure out your life.

Don't listen to your parents.. don't let them get in the way of your future. If what you really want is to go to a university then go! Its up to you not them! They can't hold you forever..Sweetie your 18..your an adult they can't tell you what to do anymore about your life.. yes they can still give you rules because you live under their roof... but they can't tell you how to live your life...that's all up to you!

Every great novelist starts with rejection... every great leader start with mistakes. So send that book in to a publisher and so what if you get rejected its only the beginning. They just don't see the great potential you have to one day change the world with just a quote from your novel. Resend your last book... I promise you one publisher will read that book... but they will also read between the lines and they will see the potential.

At every dead end there will be an open door for you to take if you choose. There is no such things as dead ends unless you choose to believe so. If you choose not to believe that there are dead ends there won't be. You are a smart young lady who will figure out the door way out of that so called dead end.

Everyone gets hopeless at times. I have been there and I know how it feels, but you need to stay strong in order to get past it. Never give up. You may think that you aren't strong but having strength means that you get up and try just one more time.

I know I don't know you...but I don't lie so I am going to tell you a secret.... I LOVE YOU!! No matter what you do...what you say...what you become... that will never change.

You are worth something to me..to me you are another person that has made me think about others. You are another person that lets me think that I am not alone. You are another person whom I can call beautiful and not lie about that. You are another person that gives me a reason to see beyond the smile and laughter in a person. You are another person that can show me the beauty in this big bad world.

You hold the key to your future. Only you can tell me and everyone else what your future holds for YOU. Don't ever ever let anyone tell you otherwise. You are a person with big dreams that is on the road towards them, but like everyone else your road also holds pot holes...bumps...and a whole lot of curves, but don't let that stop you from reaching your destination...because once you reach it..you won't regret it.

We all get hopeless we all get down...but we all hold a strength to get up from the ground and keep trying to succeed. Just no everyone can find that strength...and you know what I am here to help you find yours so you can keep moving on!

I LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT! DON'T EVER EVER CHANGE!

You are a beautiful women who is wise beyond her years! You are strong, independent, and gorgeous women.

If you ever ever need anything...I am here for you..email me...pm me...anything.. I will never deny you I promise!

Also when you get those books published.. let me know the names of the books and your full name (author) so I can go and buy them.. to read and read in between the lines. I would love to hear your story!

Your young you got your whole life ahead of you!

XOXO
Nicole! <3


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