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Noctis Offline
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Age: 32
Gender: Male
Location: At work.

Posts: 103
Join Date: January 11th 2009

Just Feelin' Tired... - April 11th 2011, 02:17 PM

Not a teen per se, but at 23 years of age and quite literally no phone numbers on my phone, working at a grocery store, an AAS in Welding and no prospect of a welding career, a Facebook page that's filled with my own lone posts, zero girlfriends in the past, and no foreseeable improvement in the near future, I think I can safely say that I'm in a rut, and I'm growing weary of my own existence.

Given what I stated above, the facts are rather self explanatory. My failed attempt at parenting has left me unable to socialize or sympathize with others. I'm actually not even sure what I want to do at this point.

Suicide is a thought that lazily lurks around in my head, though I would much prefer ODing on sleep aid and never having to wake up and continue with the tyranny of physical existence, but that's not exactly a thought that overwhelms me. I don't actually think I'm suicidal really.

The thought that bugs me to no end is that there are people I know and work with whom everybody would agree that they are less of a person than I am, who contribute little to nothing in society and always cause problems for others. And yet, they have better prospects for love and friendship(and get paid more) than I do.

With that thought comes an overwhelming thought that has crowded my mind and leaves no room for any other thought. A thought that there is something WRONG with this world, and that I want no part in it because continuing this further would only be dragging out the world's denial of my existence.

I like to think that I have higher moral standards than most and that I push myself harder than those around me. The fact that most of my coworkers believe that one among us is an ass does not negate the fact that he has had more girlfriends and friends than me. The fact that I always fill in for another and always come in even if I'm sick and am going on 48 hours without sleep does not change the fact that I get paid a lot less than another worker who actively goes out of her way to waste not only my time, but other's time, and does less than half the work at half the pace.

I feel like an old man in his 80s who looks back on his life and sees nothing but regret and is weary of life. I'm simply exhausted and not allowed to rest.

"I am the shadow cast by the light of science."
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
lonely.boy Offline
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Posts: 67
Join Date: January 7th 2009

Re: Just Feelin' Tired... - April 15th 2011, 11:05 PM

I have checked this thread yesterday and today in hopes to see a answer from someone because im in a similar situation and now i feel like i should try and give one ( although im not in the best situation to give help and i don't come at the forum much, but anyways...)
I too feel tired and that i can't catch a break and im pretty much alone as , no friends and although i don't talk behind people backs or mean harm to anyone, no one really wants to hang out with me and don't know why because, like you, i too see 'worse' ( don't know how to put it, but i think you get the idea, people that are mean and sometimes contribute nothing but troubles) having a blast almost every time and everywhere and at least have their friends, while i sit at home doing nothing. With this just want to tell you that your not alone, if it helps...
What i would suggest, and it is what i have been thinking a lot and has keep me going, is to get some ideas and plans to change things. I don't like my life like it is now so i plan to change it and that thought has keep me going and i know it won't be the easiest thing, but it doesn't matter because im going to do it. So maybe thinking about a change of scenery, like job for example( although i know it's not easy to just change jobs, i think you get the point). Maybe try taking some classes for something new? It's always a way to meet more people or even trying a sport or working out if you like, that can also turn into a way to socialize and definitely take some of the stress out.
Having plans and goals in you head, and hopefully accomplish them, helps keep you going and looking forward to something.
Also, don't let those people you work with affect you, some people are not even worth wasting time thinking of.
Hope everything get better for you.
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