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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Lovehatelife23 Offline
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couldnt take it - April 13th 2011, 06:11 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Well on April 6, 2011 i tried to Kill myself by hanging myself but it didnt happen. i regret it every min of the day. well on wednesday i checked myself into a mental hospital bc i tried killing myself n i needed help. well i got out today April 13,2011 n dont feel any better. When i got home i felt bad n started Balling (Crying) bc i regret i shouldve just let my legs fall n i wouldnt be here today. I feel really bad bout it n cant get it out of my mind. the only reason i got out bc i was pretending to be better n wasnt letting my feelings out with my doctor. well right now i feel like i have to do it. i regret it. OMG! I hate myself for not doing it. I really wanted to be dead. I hated Life, I Hated Myself, I hated Everyone, I have Faith but then i would have the devil but i just dont kno anymore. Im going crazy! wat do i do? Do u think after my birthday check myself back in or just end my life bc i will i seriously will i dont give a shit wat anyone says!


R.I.P
CJ Collins 1993-2008
He was a Awesome Kid
I Love you n Miss you


You learn at a certain pace. Then that pace goes away. Then

you try and try to do everything you can. Then it gets harder.

Then you give up. Then its all over.

Leslie
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: couldnt take it - April 13th 2011, 06:18 PM

We're not going to encourage you to kill yourself. Not even close.

I suggest if you don't feel any better, go back to the hospital. BUT, if you want help, you have to be honest with the doctors. If you're not honest, they won't know how to help you, how to treat you, etc.


Dare to be Different, to be Weird, to be a Freak.
Overall, Dare to be yourself.

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Re: couldnt take it - April 13th 2011, 06:23 PM

I think that you are trying to get help, but once you get the help, you feel the need to get as far away as you can from the help. I am glad that you have checked yourself into the hospital.
You made the choice not to commit suicide and to seek help. That points out that you want to be here and you want help. I think that if you are still having suicidal thoughts, that you should take the step to get help, BUT this time you should actually open up and be honest. Doctors can't help if you don't tell them what goes on. I know that it is scary to be open to a doctor and admit things like suicidal thoughts, but if you want help, this is something you need to learn to do. Also, you say you hate yourself, then you go on to say how you hated life. Hated is past tense. I think this means something to you.

My advice is to get the help you need, but in order to actually get help you have to be willing to be open. If you agree to get help, you are agreeing to tell the doctors or whoever what is actually going on.

Also, why are you suicidal? Why do you hate yourself?


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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: couldnt take it - April 13th 2011, 06:34 PM

well i always opened up too him when i was in there. it was the day when i was leaving. i didnt want to tell him i wasnt ready to go home. i feel like everything is back the way it was before. im back into my state in mind. i hate being like this. i wanted to go home but then i didnt bc of my fucking parents. Now everyone knos tat i tried killin myself n was bakeracted into a mental hospital. today i was like i was ready to go home but then i wasnt bc i didnt want to go back n do the same Damn thing i was doing before. I was just on the phone with my dad crying my eyes out the second time telling him tat i regret it n i felt like it should of just stayed n everything n he was telling me dont talk like tat. tats why i hate my parents bc i cant tell them anything of how im feeling bc it feels or they will just upset at me for being the way i am tat i cant help.


R.I.P
CJ Collins 1993-2008
He was a Awesome Kid
I Love you n Miss you


You learn at a certain pace. Then that pace goes away. Then

you try and try to do everything you can. Then it gets harder.

Then you give up. Then its all over.

Leslie
  Send a message via Skype™ to Lovehatelife23 
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: couldnt take it - April 14th 2011, 06:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovehatelife23 View Post
Well on April 6, 2011 i tried to Kill myself by hanging myself but it didnt happen. i regret it every min of the day. well on wednesday i checked myself into a mental hospital bc i tried killing myself n i needed help. well i got out today April 13,2011 n dont feel any better. When i got home i felt bad n started Balling (Crying) bc i regret i shouldve just let my legs fall n i wouldnt be here today. I feel really bad bout it n cant get it out of my mind. the only reason i got out bc i was pretending to be better n wasnt letting my feelings out with my doctor. well right now i feel like i have to do it. i regret it. OMG! I hate myself for not doing it. I really wanted to be dead. I hated Life, I Hated Myself, I hated Everyone, I have Faith but then i would have the devil but i just dont kno anymore. Im going crazy! wat do i do? Do u think after my birthday check myself back in or just end my life bc i will i seriously will i dont give a shit wat anyone says!
hey obviously you are finding life real tuff right now and you feel you cant cope and you feel that the best thing to do is to kill yourself to end all of the pain and built up emotions i know totaly how you feel i can sometimes feel like this on a day to day baisis its how you deal with it that counts you can decide to be real strong and ignore the thoughts which i know is really hard or you could just act upon them but if you act upon them just think for a second as this is what helps me when im suicidal just think what would happen when you kill your self your parents would be soo upset and they would probally blame themselves and they would have so much guilt for the rest of their lives you seriously dont want to hurt them right??? i know its hard but this helps me just think what would happen if you did kill yourself also their are some good helpful websites around usually you can find them on google search engine also have you thought of seeing your GP and maybe getting them to reffer you to the mental health services near you i know this may sound scary but they are a reall good service and if you can get reffered to them then you will recieve a physciatrist which i think will help you they may even decide to put you on some beter/other medication that will help you ok ive got a physciatrist and she has helped me so much she is my life line anyways i hope you feel better soon and im here if you need me as i totally understand how you feel and what your going through hope this helps take care keep safe and stay strong xxx

Tiffany (figureskater09)
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