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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Disclosure. Offline
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Red face Bleh! - April 14th 2011, 10:17 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

This pain is too much for me. I want it to end. I don't want to feel this pain anymore. I'd rather feel numbness then this. I've had the best week so far. I've finished typing out my book and I have to figure out a way to print it out, I'm working on my next book, I received my new offer for University on Tuesday, my last shift at McDonalds is on Friday and is only 3 hours, I pick up my employment papers for the new job after my shift at McDonalds, on Saturday, I might be going out for drinks for my cousins birthday and I start my new job in June. But I'm still not happy with my life. I can't stand feeling this anymore. It's tearing me a part. I feel like it's eating my insides and I'm going to explode because of the pain. I want someone I can talk too, who understands everything that I'm going through. But I feel like I can't as I feel like I'm annoying them with my whining. I want to scream out because of it. My anti-depressants aren't working and I can't tell anyone else because they think it's helping me. I really need help.


   
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Re: Bleh! - April 14th 2011, 11:15 AM

Rianna,

There, as you've listed are so many reasons to be happy for yourself and with your life! You're an amazing, beautiful, strong and inspiring person. You have so many reasons to be happy. All you have to do now, is make yourself happy!

During my years of depression, I had lost all hope, and wondered why I should be happy. I was only going to miss the little things. That there was nothing really that gave me reason to be happy. Then I realized that it was because I found so many reasons to be upset with life, and not enough to be happy about it. So many times I cussed, and then I realized that if I wanted happiness, I just needed to reach out for it.

When you're upset, so many things around us causes us stress. We need to banish all the stress. Here's where we need to take time out for ourselves. Do things that we want to do, that make us feel happy. Sometimes fulfilling our happiness has to be our first priority.

Life is made up of so many aspects. It's the little things that make up the whole. Find reasons to be happy in the smallest of things. Talking to a friend, having a good laugh, going shopping, being with the little children that you're going to teach at your new job. They all accumulate and fill the entire soul. We need to search for happiness wherever we go. We may tell ourselves that it's just not out there. There's nothing happy about it. But that means we're not looking hard enough. We need to stop focusing on what is wrong, and focus on all the good!

Don't be discouraged. I found the sticky in the Depression and Suicide Forum to be really helpful: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f11-d...-reasons-live/
And it really helped me out when I needed it.

Stay strong, chin up, you're going to get through this. It's all about the mind!
Take care of yourself!


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In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

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As wild and as reckless as thunder over the land.
Racing with the eagle, soaring with the wind.
Flying? There were times I believed I could."




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Re: Bleh! - April 14th 2011, 08:58 PM

Hey hugs
First off, I don't exactly get why you are depressed. Do you know what the source is/what is causing your depression?
As for advice, I think if your anti-depression meds aren't working, you need to talk to someone. If you are on meds, this means that you have told someone, so I think you do need to talk. Talking is not whining! If you need help, you should go get it instead of bottling it up. I think that one of the things that is bringing you down is the fact that you have to live a lie--you have to act as if the meds help when they don't. This is might be one of the many things that are really hurting you. I suggest talking to someone.
If you are worried about feeling whiny, then don't. People care about you and they'd prefer that you talk to them! They don't want to see you hurt and then think of what they could have done to help so that this could have been prevented. Please talk to someone if you have these feelings!

I was depressed too; I had the thoughts that life was not worth it and that i just wanted to fade. I felt like nothing was good and that I would not make it. Life was trapping me.
One thing that I came to realize was that I wasn't trying, I wasn't talking, and I wasn't being honest with myself. You can't deal with depression by sitting by yourself and putting on that mask every day...it becomes a burden.

I opened up to friends and it really helped. When I had an urge or a bad feeling, I'd talk to someone. They helped me change my mindset and I would then get up and go out more often. This helped me see different sides of life that I could not see while depressed.

Please take the advice on talking to people, it really helps. Also, give yourself a hug! You have come very far and you have accomplished a lot. Right now, it might not seem like a lot to you and you might think it isn't good enough, but it is. Tell yourself you need to come out of this and start doing so. Try putting a jar by your bed and each night when you go to sleep or when you wake up, put something in the jar (like a penny). Keep working on filling up that jar day by day.
One thing that I think about is how much we can help others, how much my life can mean to someone. How we can live for those that can't or were killed early on. Live for yourself and for others!

If you need anyone to rant to, feel free to PM


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When it's over, and the heart break
And the cracks begin to show

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Hold Onto Hope
   
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