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PurpleMoon Offline
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Unhappy Weird - April 23rd 2011, 10:40 PM

I have moved in with my mum since they have broken up and i had not SH for about 4 weeks then my best friend did and i felt so guilty she had been getting help for hers and i felt so guilty that she had been doing it then same way i had been. She lied to me to tell me that she didnt do it like that she found it from some where else but i knew she got it from me which made me feel even worse because she was lying to me. Which made me do it. I felt so ill after doing it as i know it is wrong. I hated my self.

I always feel im in the way when i go to my mums because i know that she wants to go out but she wont because i am there. Then when im at my dads he just goes out anyway he also has a girlfriend that he has told everyone else about but me.

Today was going alright, i want out with my sister and her boyfriend and one of my friends i felt in a good mood and happy but then i just suddenly felt empty and wanted to cry i felt so stroppy and i just really wanted to self harm. I didnt do it, but i still really want to. I just dont know what to do with myself anymore. i dont really want to be anywhere i want people to want to see me or stay with me because they want to not because they have to.

Just needed to get it off my cheast
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Heretic Offline
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Re: Weird - April 24th 2011, 08:08 AM

I've been on both sides of something like this. I once SH'd because someone else's new marks triggered me, and I once triggered someone else into doing it because they saw my scars. It can be just as terrible either way.

I hope you can find it in yourself not to take this all on your self too hard. Maybe your friend was triggered by your own SH, but there are almost certainly other reasons behind why she did it, even if you don't know them. Most of the time, a person's most prevalent and powerful reasons for hurting himself or herself is also something that they keep secret more than anything else. It might help both of you to talk to each other about what it might have been, and even if one or both of you doesn't want to talk about it directly, any kind of discussion can help.

You say that you wanted to SH but you were able to stop yourself earlier.... That's actually very good. It can be incredibly hard to actively and knowingly prevent yourself from doing something like that. If you're able to keep such a focused and strong mindset when you feel the need to SH, I think you'll find recovery to be that much smoother and uninterrupted.

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk about anything.


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