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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Name: Call me Ark
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Myself - April 25th 2011, 06:07 AM

My name is (LeavingBlank) and all I've managed to do In life is lie about what I feel. My brain lies to my body and my mouth lies to people.My brain hasn't allowed my body to cry or feel things in about seven years. When I'm in class I feel so depressed I can't even to work. This semester I have a 0% of turned in work in all my classes. I'm going to fail 7th grade at this rate. The teachers have stopped caring about what I do. I draw death and guns in art, I sleep in math, I sit and write things like this in music, I dont pay attention in science, I write my own depressing stories in english, I sit alone in the corner during lunch and so on and so forth. I don't even have a reaction to anything. Someone could say "Hey noone likes you go kill yourself" to my face and I'll do nothing, not a damn thing.
I feel like I just need to end it all but as they say: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temperary problem. I've cut my self before but I've stopped. Scars on my arm and memories of how how got them are everywhere. I lie to councelors just cause. I dont know why. I want to kill my self right here right now as I'm typing this thing that I'm sure someone in the world is going to laugh at how pathetic I'm being. I do wan't to murder myelf and others. Hey no wonder why I always wanted a world like in Fallout or in any zombie movie. I'll have an excuse to kill people and myself. My life compared to others is the best life possible. I KNOW THAT! But I can't stop feeling this way. I try talking to my parents about his but I never see them. I've tried talking to a counseler about this but I end up lying. I'm a selfish prick and everyone wishes I were dead. Fuck the world.
I just feel like I should go to the pharmacy, buy two bottles of sleeping pills and OD on them. I have no friends my family is torn apart and I have no future.
   
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Re: Myself - April 25th 2011, 07:29 AM

7th grade is only towards the start of your life. Ending it now would not be the answer. Really, suicide is never the answer. It solves nothing, and only makes the overall issues of this world more severe. I've contemplated suicide before, and it was not just a single thought.

I thought about it months. Eventually, it occurred to me that I had much to live for (in terms of the near and far future), and this pain and emptiness I felt was a facade.

Easier said than done my friend, but If you want to fix this situation, you have to mustard up the courage and will to let your counselors know how you feel. No one can help you, unless they can understand what is going on; how you are feeling.

You say you don't have friends, and if this holds true, hang in there because they will come. They always do. You will meet people who will help you through shitty times like this, and in return you will do the same for them. You are still only 13 and the story of your life is just beginning to unfold.

Seek help now, to get yourself on the right foot for your life.
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Re: Myself - April 25th 2011, 07:50 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forrester View Post
7th grade is only towards the start of your life. Ending it now would not be the answer. Really, suicide is never the answer. It solves nothing, and only makes the overall issues of this world more severe. I've contemplated suicide before, and it was not just a single thought.

I thought about it months. Eventually, it occurred to me that I had much to live for (in terms of the near and far future), and this pain and emptiness I felt was a facade.

Easier said than done my friend, but If you want to fix this situation, you have to mustard up the courage and will to let your counselors know how you feel. No one can help you, unless they can understand what is going on; how you are feeling.

You say you don't have friends, and if this holds true, hang in there because they will come. They always do. You will meet people who will help you through shitty times like this, and in return you will do the same for them. You are still only 13 and the story of your life is just beginning to unfold.

Seek help now, to get yourself on the right foot for your life.
I know that in my post I only said I had though about it but I've made four attemps been put in a hospital and have been contemplating suicide for years. No matter what I have tried to do I can't stop.
   
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