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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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damaged Offline
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So, I'm thinking about killing myself again. - April 25th 2011, 07:41 AM

Just, yeah. Seriously though, I just really want to die right now. Just thinking about everything that has been going on lately and then thinking about this world we all live on, it just makes me sick to know that Iím existing in such a horrible, greedy, disgusting world, where probably over 90% of the population are horrible, greedy, disgusting people.

Not only that, but I really donít have anything to really live for. I donít have anything or anyone. My parents have two other kids that they prefer over me anyway so they would be fine. Kayla (My bestfriend) has her boyfriend, her friends, and her family in Lewiston. Kianna (Other bestfriend) has her boyfriend, her other friends. Everyone else I know just wouldnít care.

So whats the point? Tell me, whats the point in keeping a life that is probably just going to get worse? Or better yet, why donít you explain to me, if everything happens for a reason, then what is the reason for this? WHAT IS THE GODDAMN PURPOSE FOR ME TO NOT BE ABLE TO BE FUCKING HAPPY FOR ONCE IN MY GODDAMN LIFE?!


Greatest day of my life was when I stopped cutting

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Re: So, I'm thinking about killing myself again. - April 25th 2011, 07:52 PM

Hi Alexia,
I know the world is horrible but please don't kill yourself because of it. First of all your family will miss you, even though you think they prefer you siblings they don't. It proberbly just seems like that but deep down they love you all the same. Secondly you friends will also miss you. Even though they have other friends your their best friend. Lastly you could make that big difference. You could warn people about their actions and about how the world is horrible, greedy, disgusting.
So please take my advice and don't kill yourself.
Erin xxx


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Re: So, I'm thinking about killing myself again. - April 25th 2011, 08:04 PM

Perspective A: The world is a terrible place. There's nothing I can do to change that, and it will always be that way. My life will always suck. No one will ever love me. I'll never be confident, beautiful, smart, etc. I will never be happy, no matter what I do.

Perspective B: Things might be hard right now, but they can always get better. There is a lot of bad in the world, but there's a lot of good things to. I may feel unloved, but I know that in reality there are people who care about me, even when it doesn't seem like it. I'm not the most gorgeous girl in the world, but to someone out there I am beautiful. I will be happy, but I recognize that happiness must be worked for. I will work; I won't give up.

What perspective do you think will get you farther in life? Do you honestly think that everything in the world is rotten and terrible? I know it might seem like it sometimes, but it really isn't. Go to a busy city and stand on the sidewalk. You see traffic, hear car horns, people racing to their jobs. Now go up on an airplane and look down at the same scene. I bet it would look much different. All those things that aggravated you or made you pissed off are much smaller from that perspective. And what you really see is how beautiful everything is from up above.

Sure, it's a cheesy example, but there's so much truth to it. How successful and happy you become all depends on the way you look at life. Right now, you're not realizing your potential. You're not realizing how small these things that make the world seem ugly and terrible are compared to the big picture. Because in the big picture you are loved, and you have a purpose. Happiness is never out of reach, even when it seems like it.

Think of something you like to do, that you'd like to do in your future. For me, it's writing. Take that, and dedicate your life to it. Imagine yourself in ten years, doing what you love for a living, and truly being happy. If you can have that, why would you walk away from it? Why would you choose nothing or everything you want?

Things will get better, I promise. Six months ago I was in a mental hospital wishing I could die, and now I feel amazing. I would have missed so much if I'd followed through with it. And I'm saying that only after six months. Keep hanging in there. One day it will be worth it





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