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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Lovehatelife23 Offline
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Why? - April 25th 2011, 07:46 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Why?

Why i couldnt of just died 2 weeks ago when i commited suicide. I didnt care. I should of never told anymore n just suffered. I feel so bad tat i told somebody n im living right now as we speak. I just got out of the hospital again for the second time last Monday for Over dosing on 30 ExtraStrength Tynole n before tat i was in there for trying to hang myself one night after a BIG thing happend after i got home from my Bestfriends house for the weekend n put my self into a mental hospital the next day bc i kno i needed help. I should of justr died. Now everyone is trying to help me in Their Way NOT my Way! When i got out last monday i went the next day to see my Therapist n she Totally SCOLLED me n my dad bad where i dont want to see her tomorrow. I hate her. bc i didnt call her before i went in there the first time. She cant help my ACTIONS n Cant help my THOUGHTS all she can do is give me advice but she cant keep me out of there. I Hate My SELF n I HATE EVERYONE AROUND ME! I feel like i need to go back but i dont want to bc i got plans with my bestfriend this weekend. SO OH WELL! I keep thinking of over dosing again but WAT? But tat was a terrible thing i did n i dont want to do it again but IF I HAVE TO I WILL n I WONT TELL ANYONE THIS TIME I SWEAR TO GOD!


R.I.P
CJ Collins 1993-2008
He was a Awesome Kid
I Love you n Miss you


You learn at a certain pace. Then that pace goes away. Then

you try and try to do everything you can. Then it gets harder.

Then you give up. Then its all over.

Leslie
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Re: Why? - April 25th 2011, 09:15 PM

Hai dear
I'm so sorry that you're going through a such an unbearable time in your life.
It was very brave of you to check into that Psychiatric ward. It shows that you have a lot of strength!
At the end of the day, those people have been trained to treat you that way... if you don't like it, you need to speak up! Tell them that you don't like how they are going about things and wish it would be different.. but you have to tell them what you want to happen, okay?
Keep strong.. remember we're always here <3




   
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Re: Why? - April 25th 2011, 09:28 PM

Hey there.

I am really sorry that you're feeling so low again right now. It's a horrible thing to have to often feel the a you feel and I honestly wish I could make you feel better.

You are fully aware that attempting suicide will get you no where and will probably make you in an even worse situation. Clearly its hard to actually commit suicide as you're still here after trying and if you try again people will force things on to you and I know you don't want that.

Charli is right. This is your healthcare and you are entitled to have a say in how it works so never be afraid to speak up about the treatment you are getting. You have a right to to whats going on.

I know things are hard for you but you can beat this. It won't be like this for ever, I promise. It can and will get better and you have your whole life ahead of you to live. You can do this kidda.

Stay strong.
Jessie.


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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Exclamation Re: Why? - April 26th 2011, 12:17 AM

ya well i kno tat. Its just hard for me right now. I went through alot latley. I feel like i just need to end it again. I kno suicide isnt the answer but u kno Life is complicated n cant be helped in anyway. Life is Terrible. I try to look at the good things i have n everything but it just seems like I need to end it n Say Goodbye bc im Not Worth it. I kno ill make people upset but they will get over it soon. Suicide is Perment. But after tomorrow i dont think im going to be able to Live. Im going to see my therapist again n if she Scolleds me again then im going to cus her out IM SERIOUS! She already pissed me off once n i can do it again. I dont even think i can go see her. She is such a Bitch. Im just Tired of Life n i Hate myself n Everyone Around me but not my Bestfriend. I just feel like im having a break down again. WAT DO I DO? HELP ME!


R.I.P
CJ Collins 1993-2008
He was a Awesome Kid
I Love you n Miss you


You learn at a certain pace. Then that pace goes away. Then

you try and try to do everything you can. Then it gets harder.

Then you give up. Then its all over.

Leslie
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Re: Why? - April 26th 2011, 04:59 PM

Hey Leslie,

I understand you are going through so much at the moment. But you are really strong to have got to where you are and kept fighting despite things being really difficult. How do you know you can't be helped in any way? Of course you can be helped. It might take time and a lot of effort but you really can be helped. You have to want to be helped as well though.

Life might be terribe at the moment but it won't always be like that. You might look back in a few months time and things will be totally different. Things can change but part of that change has to come from you. You have to want things to change.

If you don't feel things are working with your current therapist then could you not see someone else? There is no point in seeing someone if you don't get on with them.

There are always options so please keep going because you are worth it.

Stay strong.


Believe
You can do anything you want to
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Re: Why? - April 26th 2011, 09:25 PM

Well i went to see my therapist today n when we got there She saw my momma n took her in first n then my dad n then ME. Well when i got back there it didnt go to good bc my Blood Pressure was sky high before i went in there. She was ticking me off. me n my dad got into it in there. She started talking bout me going to a Group Home. WTF! Am I a Bad Person or something. OMG! Damn I just have Problems. My dad got into the conversation of me n my medicene bc i just got out of the hospital last monday n they put me on 2 new meds n one i told my dad i need to be taking off bc its making me feel werid. earlier this morning we got into it bc of the medicene tat im not take bc he said to my therapist after i got out of the hospital i was all good n everything n when i came home from my bestfriends house i stopped taking it bc it started to make me werid out n he told her tat i started getting in tat mood where i get mad n upset alot again but even with the medicene i still do it so it doesnt matter. OMG! Well the conversation went on n on but i feel like im going LOSE IT! Im Breaking Down Again. My therapist told me tat she think tat the hospital isnt helping n everything but i think it is. She Cant help my Thoughts n my Actions. She also told me tat if i did go there again tat i need to find another Therapist but tats FINE with ME bc shes an ASSHOLE! But this whole week is filled up with stuff soo im going to wait till this week is over with n then see next monday n not plan nothing for next weekend n might end up trying to over dose or hang myself or something n end my life again n hopfully it will work this time. Im tired of Living n everything Soo......IM SRY!


R.I.P
CJ Collins 1993-2008
He was a Awesome Kid
I Love you n Miss you


You learn at a certain pace. Then that pace goes away. Then

you try and try to do everything you can. Then it gets harder.

Then you give up. Then its all over.

Leslie
  Send a message via Skype™ to Lovehatelife23 
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