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annaa. (: Offline
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Name: Anna,
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Back to that place.. - April 26th 2011, 07:05 PM

Over the past month I found someone who truly made me happy. After having a horrible user of a boyfriend before hand, he really made me feel something special. Then out of the blue (a week ago) he decides he wants to end it. We never were that close before hand, but it was different. He said he'd always liked me, even without talking to me that much - I felt the same. But thats not the only reason.
My mum told me she was happy that I was happy again - she kept saying that I had a time when I was really unhappy and well, depressed (intense hospital appointments, being ill a lot, friendship issues, school issues etc.) . I feel like I'm going back to that place.
I used to self harm, and I have really strong urges again. I quit smoking when I started going out with that boy, because I was too happy to need it. Now he's gone, I've started again (yes, I know I'm only 14..).
This sounds weird for me to say, but I'm just constantly crying. Sometimes I'll be okay, but it just comes rushing back, I get so upset.
It was my first day back at school after Easter today, I cried at least twice. Found myself a bit lost the rest of the time.
I just don't know what to do - I really feel like I'm going to be back in that place, if I'm not already there.


"The only person standing in your way is you."
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Re: Back to that place.. - April 27th 2011, 03:24 PM

Hai Anna :3
God, I know that feeling so well. You find this one amazing person and without you realising you get pretty attatched and then everything comes crumbling down. I understand how bad it feel
It's strange how one person can change our mood so much isn't it?
Something I suggest is surrounding yourself with friends and family. Try making some new friends even. It becomes easier to deal with and eventually you'll start questioning why you were so hung up on this boy.
Do you still talk to him? Maybe you could explain how you've been feeling? It might help a little bit.

I wish you the best of luck <3




   
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Re: Back to that place.. - April 27th 2011, 03:41 PM

It's good to know someone knows the feeling (:
You said about making new friends, there's actually this new girl in school, I spent lunch with her. I suppose that benefits both of us.
And the family thing, I just feel like I want to be alone. I'm going for a meal tonight with friends because it's my best friends birthday - that should be good.
I don't talk to him anymore, not on purpose, he's in none of my lessons and he doesn't hang around with my friends anymore.
I don't think he's the only reason though, I don't know what else it could be.


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Re: Back to that place.. - April 28th 2011, 03:52 PM

I totally understand where you are coming from.. When i was your age i got dumped by a boyfriend and my world fell apart.. But i learnt something i didn't need a guy to make my life complete.. I really hope you get through this unharmed and that you carry on your good work of coping with stuff.. Keep fighting..
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annaa. (: Offline
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Re: Back to that place.. - April 29th 2011, 04:02 PM

I also think this is at a bad time too, which makes things worse - I have plenty of exams coming up, and these little things pop out of no where. I totally didn't expect him to finish with me as he'd spent 2 nights round mine in that week. He told me before he always liked me so I didn't expect it to happen.
On some levels I wish I didn't get so attached to guys, as it might effect my work.


"The only person standing in your way is you."
-Black Swan
  Send a message via MSN to annaa. (:  
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