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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Lumos. Offline
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Unhappy im done - May 5th 2011, 05:08 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

i can't live anymore.
i can't pretend to smile when i feel like shit.
im done living.
im ready to jump off a building or cut really deep or something to kill me.
everyone says things will get better but i don't deserve things getting better
Im worthless.





From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How all my worst fears are letting out
He said, "Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?"
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
  Send a message via Skype™ to Lumos. 
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Eljoria Offline
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Re: im done - May 5th 2011, 08:19 AM

I'm the same, feel like pulling through with me?
Im worthless too but keep positive Sometimes long time brings out the goodness. ♥


Jay

Live the life.
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
thatundergrad Offline
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Re: im done - May 5th 2011, 08:57 AM

You know, I'm 22 now. I've felt worthless since I can remember.

I failed the 3rd grade, and I felt really worthless then.
My boyfriend took my virginity and then left me at 14. Worthless.
I would cut myself everyday after school because I felt like I deserved it.
I can't scrub the floors hard enough at work.
The papers I write for classes aren't good enough.


But you know what?

I skipped the 8th grade.
I married a man who loves me for everything I am.
I haven't cut in months. In fact I can't even remember the last time I cut, even though I've been a self-harmer for 10 years now.
Out of all the employees at my work, I am the only one that bothered to scrape the dirt out of the corners of the bathroom.
I get A's on all of the papers I write.

There is how you feel about yourself, and then there is reality. I am like you. I feel so low about myself that I intentionally hurt myself. That is self-loathing at its deepest, and that is something only we can understand. But you, too, have the power to find things about yourself that show you are worth it.

Heck, I put that little list of accomplishments down all the time

I skipped? I should have, it was my age level and I should know that stuff.
I got married? I tricked him into thinking I was something special.
I haven't cut? Doesn't matter, I know I will again eventually and I am still a cutter no matter what.
My accomplishments at work don't matter because I haven't been promoted.
My papers are only A's because I'm at a community college and the classes are too easy.

But, the list of accomplishments without those negative feeling attached- THAT is the reality. No matter how much I hate myself, THOSE are FACTS.

You have the power to do this too. I know you do. Find the facts and forget the feelings. And if you need someone to drag you across the finish line, by golly I volunteer. And RIGHT in your signature I see an accomplishment- you haven't SHed since 4/25. And even if that ticker got turned around tonight, you write down how long you went, put it on your mirror and you look at that anytime you feel worthless. THAT is your accomplishment, and you're going to go longer next time, and longer after that. I know, because I was there too 10 years ago and now I am up half a year or longer at a time without cutting. If you have nothing else you hold on to, you hold on to that for dear life. That is your accomplishment, and you own it girl.

I am behind you 110%, and if you ever, ever, ever need someone I am right here to hold your hand. I know it's hard, I know you want to just scream at yourself and cry yourself to sleep, I know how much pain you're in right now. But you put that post-it note up and you focus all of your energy on it. And if you fail? Try again! I've been failing for 10 years, but I've gotten better at it. That's right, I am improving at failing. I am the best failer out there. That's another accomplishment. By golly, I'm on a roll, and you will be too.

Stay strong. I'm here if you ever want to chat.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Lumos. Offline
Used to be Don'tForget
I can't get enough
*********
 
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Name: Dionna
Age: 20
Gender: Agender
Location: Oregon

Posts: 3,122
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Join Date: March 13th 2011

Re: im done - May 6th 2011, 04:12 AM

i really can't live anymore. i wish i was never born.





From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How all my worst fears are letting out
He said, "Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?"
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
  Send a message via Skype™ to Lumos. 
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
I Miss You Offline
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Name: Drew
Gender: Male
Location: in a dark and dangerous place

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Join Date: March 8th 2011

Re: im done - May 6th 2011, 05:56 AM

hi hun

it hurts me to see you in so much pain...dont do this...stop and think about what it will do to everyone once you are gone...

your freinds..your family...they would be devastated if something happend to you.

TH would be devastated too...

you can PM me anytime you need a freind to talk to

please dont do this
Drew
  Send a message via MSN to I Miss You  
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