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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Evanescent Offline
Love Is The Movement
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Name: Nicole (Nikki)
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No Hope Left - May 10th 2011, 05:08 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Once again I am severely suicidal. People think Iím okay but Iím not, Iím not okay at all. They donít know how bad the voices are getting, that I can no longer drown them out. They donít know how bad the depression is getting. They donít know that I wish I was never born or that I regret every breath I take. They donít know that I am saving up my pills until I have enough that I can be absolutely sure it will be lethal. Iím tired of trying to explain to people that Iím not okay and them not listening. The flashbacks are so bad that I donít want to be awake but the nightmares are so bad that I donít want to sleep. I donít want to be here at all. People donít understand me, I donít understand me. Iím constantly thinking of self-harm and suicide. I canít concentrate on anything. I canít do anything right. Iím just a burden to everyone around me. I know I canít get better, why continue to be alive?


"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll land among the stars."

"For those who don't care, for those who can't see, never give up, always thrive to be free."

Smile, you are beautiful www.operationbeautiful.com

Blessed Be!
Nicole AKA Nikki
Artist, Poet, and Future Social Worker
   
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Re: No Hope Left - May 10th 2011, 05:38 AM

Hey Nikki,
   
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Life17 Offline
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Re: No Hope Left - May 10th 2011, 05:58 AM

Congratulations on becoming a future social worker Im a future social worker too. Im also so ignored with squeaky as she keeps getting louder and uncontrollabale. Sorry, I failed to minchen squeaky is the voice inside of my head that was cause by September which is getting unbarable everyday. Sorry, I failed to minchen september is was I call my major depression. No one understands that when those two comes to visit life is no longer beautiful but it is painful and impossible.Those two leave other to believe everything is ok and Im ok and leaves my scream for help silent. No one listens because no one wants to help the broken kid helping the broken kid would put to much on them so instead they brush the broken kid off of their shoulder and say everything is going to be ok just be happy. Every trip to the store I buy asprin to add on to my extra medication, and my roommates asprin knowing that one day I will have enough to escape. Hang in their is what I will tell you because that is what Im told but we both know the struggle and that day will come rather it is for good or bad.
   
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