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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Lovehatelife23 Offline
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Angry FML!!!!!!!!!!!! - May 13th 2011, 07:14 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Why is my life like this. I want to die! I cant keep living like this anymore. Nobody loves me. Nobody cares. Why cant i just give up n say GOODBYE! Im sooo sick n tired of living anymore tat its not funny. I feel like killing myself. I feel like im not worth living on this earth when people just treat me like Shit! My parents are fucking assholes. Im either going to run away one day or kill myself bc im not going to be able to hang on much longer. My life is getting shorter n shorter n I just need to let go of everything. I dont care if i make people upset. They are hurting me really bad. I dont understand wats wrong with me. Im Literly Crying right now bc i cant cope with everything tat is happening to me. Why cant Life be easier? Why cant i just be happier? Why cant i prove my parents wrong? Why cant i be trusted? Why cant i believe? Why cant i Die? I kno everyone says tat Suicide isnt the answer but right now it is bc i cant keep doing this when it feels like when i get older tat its just going to get harder n harder. I feel like im a bother to my parents. My Life is Ticking n when it stops im going to be dead weither anyone trys to bring me back or not! I dont care if i go to Hell or Heaven I just want to be free from this FUCKING WORLD OF MISSERES!


R.I.P
CJ Collins 1993-2008
He was a Awesome Kid
I Love you n Miss you


You learn at a certain pace. Then that pace goes away. Then

you try and try to do everything you can. Then it gets harder.

Then you give up. Then its all over.

Leslie
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Re: FML!!!!!!!!!!!! - May 13th 2011, 08:43 PM

hey Leslie,
im sorry ur still feeling bad. What exactly are ur parents doing thats so bad? I think if u explained it more i might be able to help. Also, its not true that NOBODY cares about you. If nothing else, I care about you and i know other ppl on th care about u too. Please dont give up, i know things look bad now, but they can turn around quickly and ull be stronger for the experience.


"One day at a time, this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering." -Ida Scott Taylor
   
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Re: FML!!!!!!!!!!!! - May 14th 2011, 03:28 AM

Leslie, I know you feel like no one cares about you and all, but that is not true. Just know even if it seems that your parents don't care about you, they care, and think of your friends. To be honest, I was contemplating on commiting suicide lik few hours ago because my parents said I am the worst son and that i was not worth being their son, it struck me hard, but I know deep down they really didn't mean that, atleast I believe. If you still think no one cares and loves you, well I will say I care and love you. Make smart choices!!
   
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Re: FML!!!!!!!!!!!! - May 14th 2011, 04:02 PM

Only you can make your life better. Telling yourself all these negative things will not help anything. As you know it will just make you feel worse. You are not alone, you can be trusted, you can believe, life can be easier, you can be more happy, and you WILL NOT die. In order to recieve all these things you need to change YOUR life. How? Well first of all you are 20. Why can't you move out? At lest you will be away from your parents. Even if you have to have a roomate to make the cost of living cheap.

If you are just sitting around doing nothing... DO SOMETHING! What do you enjoy doing? Get out there and do it! Get out and do what YOU want, what will make YOU better, what will make YOU happy, what do YOU enjoy? You have to surround yourself with things that are positive and that you enjoy other wise you wont feel any change in yourself and or feel better. Join something at the community center, church, there are plenty of activity groups for people of all different ages. Once you get out there and look around and join something it will uplift your mood and spirt.

Another thing is if you are feeling this depressed you should probably try and seek some sort of professional help. Maybe not a counselor if you don't have insureance but there are many self-help organizations that are more then willing to take a little bit of time out and talk through somethings with you. Or if you do have insureance go talk to counselor, even if you don't some not all places are willing to take the person on a "sliding fee" so you can afford to go talk to someone. But you have to be the one to ask about that.

Even though all this may feel like a lot of work, which it is. The long term benefits of feeling better and happy and being able to manage your feelings in a healthier way will turn your entire life around. But only YOU can make that first step. You already have by posting here and not doing anything to harm yourself. You don't truely want to die. You just don't know how else to handle your emotions. But get out and the help and do what makes you happy and you will be on the fast track to success.

Don't give up! We are all here to encourage, support, and be there for you!
   
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Re: FML!!!!!!!!!!!! - May 15th 2011, 02:24 PM

Well i do enjoy bike riding. I ride like 24/7 all day. I dont have a job yet. But we r suppose to be getting me one soon. I try to make myself happy by doing things tat r postive but sometimes they end up negitive. All my Life ive been depress sence i was little. Nobody knew why. Idk if it was my past through foster homes or wat idk. Ive had a rough Life until now. A couple of days ago my dad threatened me to kick me out in 6 weeks like i have no where to go. He always told me nobody aint going to take me the way i am. How does tat make me feel even WORSE bout myself. So i told him so u want to see me living on the streets OMG r u serious! My life has been screwed up bc of me i make it hard on them bc of how i am all the time, How i act, How i do things. It just pisses them off. Tats why i want to end my Life is bc i cant stand to take much more of it. If nobody wants me n i just make everyones life misserable then i shouldnt be Alive! One day im going to be dead n they r going to regret everything they did to me. I do have a Therapist but we had to get rid of her bc shes a asshole so we have to go find someone else now. I want to move out really bad. But idk where. I have a Disability Check tat i get every month tat i can barly live on but if i want to move out i also have to have a job to get me more money. But i figure out something. My Life aint over yet until Something terribly goes wrong then ill be gone for good.


R.I.P
CJ Collins 1993-2008
He was a Awesome Kid
I Love you n Miss you


You learn at a certain pace. Then that pace goes away. Then

you try and try to do everything you can. Then it gets harder.

Then you give up. Then its all over.

Leslie
  Send a message via Skype™ to Lovehatelife23 
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