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xXblurXx Offline
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I have lost all hope. - May 16th 2011, 02:14 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm gay in a homophobic family who would kill me (metaphorically) if I were to come out. Along with me being gay I have a girlfriend (I was pressured into it) And she's so sweet and I can't break up with her, I can't hurt her. I can't think straight, I seriously just need to die.

You were a song in my head.
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Re: I have lost all hope. - May 16th 2011, 08:19 AM

I think you should handle this one piece at a time.

The simplest piece, I believe, is with your girlfriend. You should simply explain to her that you're not ready to be in a relationship right now. Even if you are gay and aren't attracted to women at all, it would not be a lie if you were to dictate it in this way. I think it's unfair to both of you if you don't actually want to be with her, so you would be better off ending the relationship as quickly as you can. There's nothing wrong with trying to stay friends with her. Indeed, if you're able to, I think that you two would be able to develop a very strong friendship.

The issue with your parents is a bit more difficult, I'll admit. Unfortunately, I think that there is little you can do on that end except be patient. If you're so certain that they would not accept you, then you should wait on telling them until you turn 18 and are out of the house, so they cannot dictate to you what they expect of you or any objections they have about it. While I personally believe that your sexuality is your own business and should not be a source of someone else's anger or discrimination, not everyone shares this view.

I do not think that any of us choose our sexuality, but I think we can choose if and how we express or share it. Because of this, I think that you could (and perhaps should) talk to your friends about it, but if your parents are so stubborn and unconvincing, for your own safety do not tell them.

In addition to all of this, I think you need someone to talk to. Anything from a trusted friend to a school counselor to a professional therapist. There are obvious advantages and disadvantages to each, but any of them would be preferable to trying to keep this all bottled up. Even if you only feel comfortable saying some of it, I'm quite sure you will feel at least somewhat better about yourself. None of this is anything to be ashamed of or hide from.


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Re: I have lost all hope. - May 16th 2011, 12:09 PM

I think that you should start by telling your girlfriend. If she is as sweet as you say then she will accept you for who you are and not for who she wants you to be. As for your family you have to ignore the people who bring you down and stay with the people that support and love you for who you are. not everyone will always be good about it. i am personally fine with whatever anyone does as long as they are truly happy and not living a lie. if you need to talk more pm me. Im always here for ya <3

Everybody dies, but not everybody lives <3
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