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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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im.done! - May 17th 2011, 01:42 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

i dont care if anyone replys i just needa type so i dont fucking kill myself...im done with this fucked up life. im trying to make it better. im just fucking done with it all. i dont care about being happy anymore obviously nothings gunna fucking work ive done it all...im still just as fucked up as i was when this all started a couple years ago. im done trying to make people happy...im done trying to do the right thing for other people. im done decicating my life to make everyone elses life fucking peachy. this is my goddamn life. ill chose how to live it.what to do with myself. i honestly just want to fucking kill myself...cut till i bleed to death...i hate this life..and im done living it for other people. cuz i really dont wanna be here so why should i have to be. im gunna be selfish for ONCE in my fucking life...ill be happier once this shit is over. so ill end it for myself. that WILL make me happy. happier than ive ever been in my whole fucking life...yeah everyone that reads this is gunna tell me i need help and to talk to someone...but im done doing that too. it doesnt fucking work. and never will!....i know this is just a dumb stupid rant that most of yall wont give two shits about...but whatever...im leaving this time...for good...just likke i shouldve done when i wanted to in the begining i just wanna be happy for once in my life!. FUCK THIS...

how stubborn are the scars when they wont fade away..or just a gentle reminder that now are better days

Last edited by thexlastxnightx7; May 17th 2011 at 01:56 AM.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: im.done! - May 17th 2011, 02:29 AM

I literally just came back to this website right now after not lookin at it for a year or so for exactly the same reasons as you said, so I completely understand everything that you said. So I can't tell you not to go kill yourself because you and I both understand that that isn't the advice we need. FUck that, I get the same thing from councelors too, I went to a councelor for six months last year because I was feeling exactly the same way and it didn't help. I really get it, really. I'm serious, I even said the same thing this afternoon, I had this huge argument with my mom and I told her that I don't care about anything anymore, I'm just tired and I want to sleep for the next, well, for however long, cause I really don't fucking care. If I can help you at all because now you have me going over in my head everything I'm going through too, you said that you'll choose how to live life, that it's in your control. And that's exactly it, whatever you do is up to you, fuck everyone else, no one can tell you how to do anything, no one has the god damn right. You can do whatever you want, go wherever you think you should, and I only figured that out recently, that we're in a lot more control than we think, even when it doesn't at all feel like that. If you really think that killing yourself is the best option to follow, there isn't anything I can say to stop you, but every time I think like that, which is a lot lately, I always stop myself. Not because I think of my family, sometimes I think about my friend, but really I stop myself from going any further because I can't do it to myself, I can't put myself down like that, I haven't reached that far bottom yet. And maybe I will, idk, but for those times, I just can't go through with anything because I can't face myself like that. I think you have to put yourself first for once. You even said that, that you do so many great things for people. WHich is really funny cause I do too, I even changed my personality for people so I would seem like the nicest god damn person ever, like everyone's best friend, like I would do anything for them, and I got walked over and I'm not any happier than before. But you need to hold yourself at as high a level as you treat other people because I bet you're worth it; not to sound rediculously corny but at least in my case I was more worth it to myself than I thought I was. Again, whatever you do is your decision, I can't tell you to do anthing different than you feel, but make sure that what your next decision is will be the most thought of, most rationalized best move for you, not for anyone else, just you. Don't feel like you have to be selfish this one time, you aren't being selfish at all, you're just trying to do something to make you feel better. I really hope the best for you, and thank you, cause you kind of just helped my vent a little too. You sound like a really great amazing person, and I know a ton of fucking terrible people, and I only have one or two really true good friends, but you sound like the kind of person that is one of those really great people that anyone who gets the opportunity to know you should feel absolutely blessed.
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Re: im.done! - May 17th 2011, 02:46 AM

AGain, I hope that at all helps. I just came back here and I've been looking at other ppl's posts and they all say that they can be contacted if for whatever reason, so I'm available anytime just message me? I'm really sorry about how you feel, you are'nt alone.
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FlyingTrue Offline
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Re: im.done! - May 18th 2011, 12:31 AM

Do you know approximately how long ago you started feeling this way, and if there was a specific event that triggered the emotional trauma you have been enduring?
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