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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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FriendZoneMayor Offline
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Losing this Battle - May 17th 2011, 08:56 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

To start on a positive note, I've gone four months without cutting! woo!

To go into why I'm ACTUALLY writing this...
My Depression has been getting worse and worse lately, and I'm not sure how much longer I can handle it. I'm not getting any help for it, and my parents don't care enough to get me help. Every day I wake up completely exhausted from having nightmares all night (I think my friend thinks I'm a freak cuz I always text her until crazy hours at night to avoid sleeping). I spend all day pretending I'm okay when honestly, I feel like there's an endless hole inside my chest. Every muscle in my body is constantly sore and I don't ever want to do anything at all. I feel like I'm slowly dying inside, and it gets worse every day.

I said I haven't cut in four months, which is true, but it doesn't mean I don't want to. Every single night I fight with myself to keep from slitting my wrists. My friends have had to call me several times to keep me from doing much worse, and those old feelings of death are starting to creep back into my mind. I'm not sure if I really want to die, but I just want to feel something other than pain for once...

Help?


“I can only hope that they’ll turn that anger and frustration and madness into something positive, so that two, three, four, five hundred will step forward, so the gay doctors will come out, the gay lawyers, the gay judges, gay bankers, gay architects … I hope that every professional gay will say ‘enough’, come forward and tell everybody, wear a sign, let the world know. Maybe that will help.” Harvey Milk, 1978

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Re: Losing this Battle - May 18th 2011, 01:55 AM

You know, Summer, when I offered you to call me if your parents kicked you out, I think I should have expanded on that a little bit. I think you should call me whenever you feel the need to talk to someone. Besides, I can come and talk to you or pick you up at only a moment's notice most of the time.

All of the confusion of what you've already told me aside, I think that you shouldn't be so reserved or afraid to tell anyone you already know about what else is weighing on your mind. Even if they can't provide ideas or answers, getting it out in the open dissipates the feelings of secrecy that often weigh it down unnecessarily.

Live long and prosper.


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Nomophobia Offline
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Re: Losing this Battle - May 19th 2011, 11:24 PM

Hey there,

Sorry to see you are struggling at the moment. From what you have said here it sounds like you should look into getting some help. If your parents won't help you then you need to try and get it on your own. Do you have a school counselor or something? Talking to your friends is good, keep working on that because the more you talk about things the easier it makes it. We are here to help you, good luck with everything

Btw...4 months is fabulous! keep up the good work! xD


"Friends are like stars; you don't always see them but you know they are always there"

"It gives me hope. I love you so much. You give me a reason to breathe. Its something for me to not kill myself for" >>> means so much :')

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