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Paul4594 Offline
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"Rebuilding Yourself" - May 18th 2011, 04:27 AM

Hi, so I've been avoiding making a post until late tonight, but I really need to. I really need help I'm starting to unravel a little and I just don't know how much longerI can hold out. I need help/advice on how to rebuild yourself, because I'm done with being me, I really can't take another day looking myself in the mirror. I've been trying to cope with different anxieties from school and my parents and all of their problems and its been over a year and I've done this before, but this week is just, wow haha, terrible. And I'm done. I don't know who or what I am and I really don't know how to figure that out, and I don't want to pretend to be something I'm not, I tried that and I can't do it. I'm starting not to care about myself or life and I really just don't care if I died tomorrow, I'm just done. So, any advice would be amazing, thank-you very much.

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Re: "Rebuilding Yourself" - May 19th 2011, 09:26 AM

Rebuilding and redefining one's self is a very complex and intricate process. However, you need to realize that all of your opinions, beliefs and ideas cannot be altered by your own decision-making. They stand in such a way that they have been molded by all of the experiences of your life, and they are meant to be exactly the way they are.

Instead of trying to redefine yourself from the ground up, consider building off of what you already know and have and diving into subjects and ideas that you're unfamiliar with. One of the best ways to belay and lessen depression and pain is to create an innate curiosity within yourself about anything that you feel is unexplained or lacks the entirety of reason that you're looking for. Don't be afraid of subjects and ideas that are completely and utterly foreign to you; these are the best ones to look at sometimes. Always keep an open mind and a critical demeanor of what you're trying to discover, and you'll always find out more than you even thought you could know.

As for your own concerns within themselves, I highly recommend taking them piece by piece. If you're able to address the specific problems you feel you have with school, then you can take your concerns to any given teacher, the school's counselor or anyone else who you choose. Keep in mind that teachers and anyone else who works in the school is there specifically to help you in some way, and you should never be afraid to ask for advice or guidance from any of them. They may not give you the answers you were expecting or looking for, but they will almost certainly give you an outside perspective and a new way to view whatever issues you have at hand within the school.

Conflict with parents is both natural and expected. Aggression rarely works with parents, but firm assertion may help you to build enough confidence to confront them when you have a disagreement with them, and negotiate with them through it. It can also build trust, which is quite obviously essential to any family relationship. The more your parents feel they can trust you, the better your home life will be.

If you truly feel you have a problem with anxiety, I encourage you to talk to a psychiatrist. Aside from possibly prescribing a medication, the psychiatrist can also give you ideas and tips for staving off your anxiety, and managing it in a practical and discreet manner. Don't be afraid of your anxiety; fear is an immensely important emotion, as it tells us when something is dangerous or harmful. But if you're able to stop anxiety from controlling you, I think you'll be well on your way to finding what you're looking for.


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Re: "Rebuilding Yourself" - May 21st 2011, 03:52 AM

OK, I really see what you're saying. That's really hard though, that's what I have a lot of difficulty with, using what I know and have, because I don't like what I know and that doesn't leave me with much to work with. But still, I do see your point. I never thought of using different alternatives that I wasn't sure of, in fact I tried to avoid thinking like that, so I will try.
I don't know if I'm ready to talk to my parents about anything, as much as they probably don't trust me like you said, I really don't trust them either, that's an entirely different conflict on its own. and my school guidance councelor is busy very often (I go to a very small school), but I guess I can set up an appointment... I went to a councelor outside of school for about six months last year so maybe I can stat seeing her again. I avoided telling her really the most important stuff, I guess that wasn't smart, so I can try that again, too.
Thank you very much
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Re: "Rebuilding Yourself" - May 21st 2011, 05:07 AM

A little something is better than nothing at all. If you're able to get in with the school counselor, try your best to explain why you made the appointment, and say anything you feel comfortable saying. If the counselor is any good, he/she will make you comfortable enough to open up a bit more after some time.

If you were able to see the counselor outside of school too, that would probably help you immensely. Concordantly, keep looking at other things that might interest or intrigue that you may have initially overlooked.


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Re: "Rebuilding Yourself" - May 21st 2011, 06:11 AM

thats amazing, i feel the same way (almost) we all have different problems.. but i really dont know who i am
   
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Re: "Rebuilding Yourself" - May 22nd 2011, 09:28 PM

Yeah. OK I will definitely do that thank you very much,
Yeah that's how I feel lol
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