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When it rains it pours - May 28th 2011, 07:44 PM

Hi I'm Travis I'm 18 years old and I hate my life, Just recently my long term girlfriend(almost 3 years) cheated on me and left me for some other guy and then when I reacted to it and called out the guy he and some of his friends jumped me and beat the shit out of me because of that "fight" granted the fact that I didn't throw any punches nor have the chance I get expelled from school (also please consider that I have never been in a fight for all four years of high school) and lastly of my big problems my parents just divorced which really isn't a problem for me because my dad was hardly ever around anyway but he cheated on my mom and she is heart broken and it is obvious. I have completely closed my self off from the world because of this and have almost no urge to be inviting it back into my life I have been really considering suicide since there isn't left for me in life and I know this is just what the line comes from "when it rains it pours" but I can't handle this
   
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Re: When it rains it pours - May 28th 2011, 09:18 PM

Well first of all, welcome to TeenHelp. It seems you joined for a very specific reason, so I'll do what I can to help you out here.

Relationships in general are a sticky thing; there's so much that has to go right but can (for any reason) go wrong. I personally think that cheating is unacceptable, and if this girl thought that cheating on you was better than being honest and just telling you that things weren't working, then she's the one with a problem, not you. You stayed committed to the maximum extent that someone should expect you to, and you tried to fix things even after she turned her back on you. That speaks well to your character and honesty.

I'm not sure if you're saying that you actually got expelled from school, or that you didn't fight back against this guy because of the risk of it. Either way, both school rules and the law are on your side, because this was an unprovoked attack, and even if you had thrown a punch, it would be ruled self defense. However, the fact that you did not try to strike back at them also shows a very measured level of self control. Have you considered going to the police about this? From the way you describe it, this sounds like assault, battery and possibly reckless endangerment. And even if you don't feel the same about your now ex-girlfriend anymore, the fact is that she could be in danger to if this guy is really that impulsively violent.

I think you need closure on your parents' divorce more than just straight advice. Since your father did to your mother roughly the same that your ex-girlfriend has done to you, it seems that you have some ways to relate to your mother and, if you're comfortable with it, you should discuss it with her. It's up to you as to whether you try to speak to your father about all of this; most people who cheat consider it to be nothing to be ashamed of, or even think of it as bad at all.

It really can be true that when it rains, it pours. But when you have this much weighing you down and keeping you from feeling happy, then the only way to go is up. Things will get better, I promise. You need a little bit of patience, maybe some new acquaintances/friends to keep your mind off of your ex-girlfriend, and some time with people who you trust. While a counselor would, of course, be ideal for this, if you either can't afford one or don't feel comfortable speaking to one, find someone else who you can talk to. You're under no obligation to talk about all of what's bothering you, but for every small problem that you're able to talk about, you can get some relief from your own thoughts and not feel so bolted up about them.


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