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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Unhappy scared of myself - June 1st 2011, 02:01 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

i was always tht girl tht was extremely perky and always laughing, now im the freaky emo chick who cuts herself. i honestly used to talk about it with my best friend and told him i never could kill myself or cut myself. but now my thoughts have turned 360 around. i cut myself almost everyday and i think about different ways to potential kill myself. i would talk about it with this person but he wont talk to me-> a reason for my cutting. im terried of my own thoughts and get anxiety attacks when i want to do excessive damage to myself. im scared of what i have become and just want it to end. i just want to be happy and have my friends bak but i think im done too much damage and no one will ever look at me the same again. i hate myself so much.


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Re: scared of myself - June 1st 2011, 06:59 AM

Hey Shannon-

I'm sorry you're feeling this way right now. It can be really hard to cope with feelings like that, especially when you can remember not dealing with depression or anything.

So, does that mean you haven't talked to anyone about how you're doing? I believe it's really important you do. Getting help for things like this is really the best way to go about feeling better. A therapist, who is trained to help you work through events like this can be so helpful I can't even explain. You just have to find the right one you trust and open up to.

If a therapist isn't an option, perhaps a doctor for a referral to someone who could help you. A friend would help as well, but a professional would be your best bet. School counselors are helpful too! When you talk about it, it can help release feelings, see things from a different view, and can help you feel less hopeless about everything.

If you think you truly a risk to yourself, going into an emergency room and telling them you're suicidal or calling a mental health facility might help too. It may sound like a lot of work, but it's better to ask for help than not go on living, I promise.

Try your best not to self harm when you can. Distract yourself by reading, wandering around online, going for a walk, watching tv, really doing anything you enjoy and fills up your mind.

If you ever need someone to talk to, definitely PM me. =)
Maria.



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Re: scared of myself - June 1st 2011, 07:24 AM

Shannon,

I know how you feel, I've been there.

I just want you to know that you can definitely turn this around. Change it for the better. Your friends might be worried about saying the right thing; knowing that what they're gonna say is going to be taken in very deeply by you. Just cut them some slack, what you can do is start going to school with a smile on your face; with a different attitude. You'll see how everything is gonna change. People will seem cautious at first but will eventually talk to you. Unless you've killed someone, there's always something you can do to change people's opinions of you, you just have to act.

Good luck. Remember that it all depends on your attitude. If you don't feel depressed anymore, then stop cutting, and let your scars heal, otherwise people will have no way of knowing you've changed. Dress well, and look like a normal, happy student. You'll get friends in a matter of days even!

Good luck, wish you all the best!


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Re: scared of myself - June 1st 2011, 08:18 PM

If you do want to change, then you can look at the alternatives to self harm at the top of the page.

If you don't like how you look and you don't want to be the "Freaky Emo Chick" then change how you look.

It's gonna be okay, that's what you need to remember most. I never thought that I would SH either and when it turned into that I just kind of had to accept it and get over it before it became worse and worse.

You can PM me anytime you need me.

<3
   
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Re: scared of myself - June 2nd 2011, 02:04 AM

im actually going to see a phsycarist on saturday and hopefully tht will help me. thank you everyone for giving me hope tht i will not feel like this forever. if my friend didnt tell me about this website, id proll be in a hospital by now.


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Re: scared of myself - June 2nd 2011, 03:01 AM

It's gonna be okay <3. Let us how how the psychiatrist goes..
   
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