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Aeolian Offline
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I just need someone to talk to... - June 4th 2011, 01:57 AM

I have felt so isolated and stuck inside.. I have trouble finding friends, let alone people I can be comfortable knowing who I am and accepting me. I have been this way so long I feel like i'm going to burst. I have thought about reaching out many times but have felt discouraged and just thought things would get better on their own.. but I just want to take a chance now and see what happens. I am tired of being alone and weak. It seems kind of silly right now, to be here, I feel a bit pathetic, but like I said, I don't care about that anymore.

I have never been very close to my family, we act like we get along, but really we just tolerate each other. My parents were and are abusive, less now than before, but mostly just because I have learned to stand up for myself. That doesn't mean I am not still damaged from that tho. I still feel like an un-functioning person, like I am not fit for society or whatever, like people will reject me. I really hate it

Anyways, I basically feel like a total failure and have given up on my expectations of who I want to be. I feel suicidal a lot, but It is painful to think about things like that so I usually calm myself down or the feeling itself would literally kill me.. ironic? -- however what really hurts me now is that I realized that no one, not my parents, not my family, not friends, really know who I am, and I don't think I really know myself either.. I don't expect your pity, I don't expect anything really, but if there is anyone out there that understands, that is enough.
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bnwhite Offline
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Re: I just need someone to talk to... - June 4th 2011, 04:07 AM

I'm really sorry that you're feeling like this. I can relate to the whole problem of finding friends. It's tough and it's even harder to find those friends that actually have substance and you can have a real conversation with. And I know exactly what it's like to not have anyone know who you truly are. That's something I'm trying to work on right now. I'm trying to figure out things that are truly me and things I've made me so other's will accept me. I hope you realize there are many out there that know where you're coming from. I'm glad you've reached out. That's a major step. Maybe you could think about talking to a counselor or someone about everything that's going on. It really does help! But if you need anything- a friend, someone to vent to, anything- don't hesitate to PM me.

"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life." --John Lennon

"What matters isn't that you fell, but that you got back up. No matter how many times it takes, it's that you get back up. We fall down and all isn't lost." --Renee Yohe
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Crimsonkin Offline
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Re: I just need someone to talk to... - June 4th 2011, 04:07 AM

Aleolian you came to the right place! This place is full of caring people that would love to get to know you and are ready and willing to help! Please go ahead and PM me i would gladly lend an ear and listen

Things do get better in time.
I used to believe that things would never get better.
But after many long years things are looking up!
So don't ever give up!
Stay strong and move on!
Things WILL get better!

Make my day let me help you. PM me anytime

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