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carter27 Offline
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Unhappy falling back - June 5th 2011, 12:10 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

A few years ago i was in a very dark place. I was very depressed even though i had no reason to be. i was healthy, i had friends and family that loved me, i had everything i needed. i just wasnt happy. Self harm became my best friend while everyone else deserted me when i needed them most. no one was there and i was truly alone. after a few years of struggling i recieved some help (which didn't work very well) but i just played it off and pretended things would get better. they had to right?

Things did get better. I met this amazing girl, and although i was confused as to why i was attracted to her, she made everything okay. she made things fall into place. I truly fell head over heels for her, and fell right out of my depression. i was no longer alone, someone was sowing that they loved me, i no longer needed to hurt myself. But although things started off great, they ended really badly. I constantly fought with my parents and my gf and things took a horrible turn for the worse. After having her around by my side for 4 years she just up and left me, and my parents divorced.

Then my world shattered all over again.
I moved away, i cut all contact, i did everything i possibly could to forget her and how miserable i felt. it's been almost 2 years now since we lost all contact and i still think about her. i'm still not over her and im afraid i never will be. My parents divorce just got finalized the other day and things are not going well.

i'm so depressed again. i have no friends i can talk to. i have no one to vent to. i'm horribly alone. i just sit here and cry and hurt myself and hope for some glimmer of hope. but there is never any. things just always get worse.

i'm so tired of hurting. i'm so tired of being hurt. im so tired of being alone and fighting this battle.
i'm getting by day by day...but i dont want to have to just get by anymore.
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Re: falling back - June 5th 2011, 12:39 AM

I'm so sorry about your parent's divorce. Mine are kind of going through the same thing and I know that it's hard.

Remember that even though things probably suck right now, they will get better, it's going to be okay. If you ever need someone to talk to you can PM me..

I'm sorry about your girlfriend, I've been in the same situation before and I know how badly it hurts to have someone desert you, especially while going through things with SH. Even if hope doesn't seem close, it really is. You just have to believe in yourself and know that you can make it through this.

ANYTIME you need, you can PM me to talk.

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