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Max_99 Offline
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I don't want to go just for attention. - June 8th 2011, 02:11 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So, I want to kill myself. I'm tired of how my mother is always stressed, her husband is a douche and has to always pick at me. I'm tired of her thinking he is God Almighty and I'm this unappreciative little bitch. Maybe if I finally killed myself she'd realize, but I doubt it. She knows it kills me to even hear them kiss or look at them or see PDA or anything, and she knows it killed me to hear her have sex. But today I'm terribly depressed and anxious and it's obvious, yet when her husband is picking at me and I'm about to cry, you could tell, she just sits there. I had sidewalk chalk and drew a girl crying and dying of an overdose, explained the picture to her, yet all she did was smirk and drink her beer. Then her husband comes back out and pretends I'm not even there, so I come inside where I have a strong urge to just go get the fucking box cutter and slit myself until I bleed all over the floor and cry every tear in my body. Then just let myself slip away to whatever the afterlife may be.
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Re: I don't want to go just for attention. - June 8th 2011, 03:27 AM

I'm new to this site, but if i understand correctly...we can help each other? I may not be in the same situation but i do, however, know what you're going through. Let me tell you something. By giving up, you're letting them win. No matter what i've been through, or what i've done, i will never let them win. Neither should you
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Re: I don't want to go just for attention. - June 9th 2011, 01:11 PM

Please don't give up.
Your mother should appreciate you for who you are while you are alive. If you killed yourself, you may succeed in alerting her to your feelings, but by being dead you would gain nothing. The best way of communicating is by talking. Tell her that she upsets you, that you've been feeling suicidal, that you, as her daughter, really need her love and support. I think this could be more effective, but feel free to PM and please don't resort to suicide.
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Re: I don't want to go just for attention. - June 11th 2011, 06:30 PM

i know how it feels to want to give in to suicide. But i know there is a part of you that is scared of everything your going to miss. You may not be able to see that and you may be too depressed to even think about it, but just sit down and write a list of things that you have always looked forward to in life or the things that have made you smile. Maybe its getting married, or getting your dream job, or something smaller like the sunsets or a cold icecream cone on a hot day. No one knows exactly what happens to us in the afterlife. everyone has their views and their opinions but no one knows for sure. Do you really want to find that out right now? Don't leave behind your friends and your dreams and your goals just because a few people arent treating you right. Everyone has good days and bad days and extremely bad days, but you have to look past those bad days and look at whats in store for the future. I know it's hard now but i promise you things will get better. It may not be right now, it may not be next week, but i know your strong enough to hold on. Your post was a sign of help. You wouldnt have posted if you really wanted to end things. You posted so people could hear you and help you.

were all here to listen, so let us help you reach the better days.
PM me if you need anything at all <3
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