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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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KiraRainy Offline
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Depression - June 8th 2011, 03:53 AM

Relationship problems, poor grades, self esteem issues.. I'm struggling to be myself lately. I feel weird using this site but i need help, i just can not deal with life anymore. My relationship is very stressful (see my other post) and combined with my parents constant drinking and drug abuse is emotionally tearing me down. My senior year grades suffered, I still graduated but they just were not what they could have been. I am a little heavy and as a result have always had self esteem issues. What can I do to be happy again?
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BethanyAnn Offline
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Re: Depression - June 8th 2011, 04:23 AM

What I learned and I am saying this from the heart and I want to help you I really do, but everything in your life that is bringing you down you HAVE to let go of I learned the hard way those people won't change and I know you prolly love them, but graduating High School is a new begging for everyone and if you leave everything that is hurting you behind you will me a better happier person, but you have to step out your comfort zone for this you really do, but if you have put up with this for so long, YOU ARE STRONG you just won't see it but all the new friends you make and all the new people you surround yourself with they will see it... and it will only make you stronger in the end... I know its gonna be hard, and you deserve better... but you can't hang on to lost hope like that you are only gonna keep letting your self down and it is hard to walk away form that I know cause you just wanna try and you just wanna see what could happen... but it seems like you have hit rock bottom and where can you go from the bottom? you can only go up theres nothing left down there for you anymore, just rocks, soo pick yourself up and I have faith in you more than anything I was there once and it takes a person with courage and strength to do this but if you made it through that you can make it through anything, I know you will...

PM me if you need anything

"Have no fear for giving in, Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end, Its better to say too much, Than never to say what you need to say again" - John Mayer

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Heretic Offline
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Re: Depression - June 9th 2011, 07:46 AM

All of the items that you listed that you think were contributing to your depression are separate entities, but you're quite right in thinking that they're intertwined to create the feelings you have now.

I read your other thread (about your boyfriend), and my insight into that is a belief that he has personal reasons for not trusting you 100%, and for now there's relatively little you can do about those feelings. It's quite possible that he has been cheated on before, or had some other sort of issue with a girl before, and therefore finds trust to be somewhat more difficult to gain and return in kind. You could either break up with him, or you could be patient and give him time, all the while explaining that you're concerned and want to know exactly why he does the things he does.

Since you say you graduated, your grades must have been acceptable at a bare minimum, and I'd suspect they were higher than that par. You don't say whether or not you plan to go to college, but if you do, you should make your grades the focus of what you want to change and do differently. You probably know most or all of the reasons why your grades fell near the end of high school. As soon as you can narrow down the cause, you can start thinking of solutions and figuring out how to improve yourself. Just remember: It takes small steps, not giant leaps, to get back on track.

Self esteem is, in many ways, a culmination of all of the other issues you're facing. They shape and mold your personality and self-perception so much that it's hard to avoid taking a hit to your self-esteem when things start to go downhill. In my experience, the things that are most effective for helping improve self-esteem are socialization, activity and eating habits. Socialization is pretty simple and straightforward. Get friends, do what you like to do with them, and your mood will almost certainly receive a boost. Activity, while usually considered strictly exercise, doesn't have to be only that. Basically anything that gets you moving and raises your heartbeat will release endorphins and make you feel better in the short term, and lessen your "low" feelings in the long term. As for eating habits, I encourage eating foods with high levels of vitamin B, as this is known to raise self-esteem and increase a person's energy (lethargy and depression are often closely related).

As for the issue with the parents, I'm partially speculating, because you don't give me a lot of information to go off of for this. If you're going to college, it would probably help you to live in either a dorm or share an apartment on or near the campus. You already know that you're living in a rather toxic environment, and your parents' substance abuse does absolutely nothing to improve your self-esteem. If neither option is available, and you have nowhere else to go, then I recommend you make your area of the house as much "yours" as you can. If you don't share a room, feel free to decorate it as you see fit. Make it your own private sanctuary. If you do share a room, that still might not be too much of a problem. Simply negotiate some terms to make a certain part of the room an area where you and you alone can relax and unwind whenever you need to.

If you need anything else, have any questions, or want more specifics on the advice I've given you here, feel free to send me a Private Message any time.


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