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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Urgent. Please? - June 8th 2011, 10:00 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My counsellor is coming round today. I haven't told her the whole truth yet. She knows I self harm and that I've been briefly suicidal, but what I haven't told her is that I'm suicidal to the point of planning, getting things together and writing a note. I'm scared to tell her, because I'm ashamed of what she'll think, and I'm worried she'll have me admitted.

I know it sounds cliche, and I don't want locking up, but I feel like I need to kill myself. It's getting stronger and stronger and I'm struggling to cope with it. I have the stuff I need, and I don't feel scared of doing it.

What will she do if I tell her? Will they admit me? I know I'm not safe on my own, but I'm gonna be on my own now, and I'm worried she wont trust me.
   
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Re: Urgent. Please? - June 8th 2011, 10:18 AM

I think the best thing you can do is to tell the truth. You may be admitted, you may not. But even being admitted is not so bad.
Just tell her the truth and she will help you. You shouldn't have to worry about what she'll think of you. She'll probably think more highly of you if you are truthful with her and tell her what you are feeling and that you want help.
Try it out and let me know how it goes.

You can PM me if you want to talk more. I'm here.
   
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Re: Urgent. Please? - June 9th 2011, 12:49 AM

A lot of people have the same fear as you. But, that shouldn't keep you from opening up to your counselor. To tell you the truth, I've been in inpatient before and it was really helpful. Yes, it kinda sucked being away from everyone and being confined, but in the end, I was happy I told people because I felt a lot better after. It's important to tell your counselor what is going on inside your head. She is a professional so if she decides you need more help then you are getting, it's probably true. And that's perfectly OKAY. Reaching out for help takes a lot of courage and if you can do that you should be so proud of yourself. I know you can do it. You know you need to and that's a big part of it. Now you just have to go for it. After that, it just gets easier.
Hang in there and let me know if you need someone to talk to.
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If I can make it out, you can too.
   
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Re: Urgent. Please? - June 9th 2011, 02:11 AM

I think you should tell her the truth. I'm sure she'll be glad that you were truthful and told her and won't judge you for it (because she can't I can't say that I know exacly what will happen after that, but do know that eventually things will get better for you simply because at some point they have to. That's just the way it goes. If you feel like you can't hold on anymore (as a last resort) then tell yourself you'll do it in 15 minutes. When that 15 is up, see if you can go another 15, and so on...
if you want to chat more with me, I'd be glad to, so friend me and we'll go from there if you want :P Until then, try and think of something you reeeaaaallllyyy want to do over the summer (within reason or do something else you enjoy.
Stay stong, and please, hold on a little longer- things WILL get better.

"Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain."
   
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Re: Urgent. Please? - June 9th 2011, 01:08 PM

I told her and she honestly didn't seem too bothered. She just said "you'll be fine" and left. I spilled everything to her, I cried, I sobbed and I told her all my fears and secrets and she just didn't seem to care. I had to call the crisis team afterwards because I was such a mess.

It's like she digs up all this negative stuff then leaves me with it.
   
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Re: Urgent. Please? - June 9th 2011, 01:38 PM

Did you tell her you feel like you needed help? Maybe if you mention to her what you think you need she will be more likely to help you with what you need.


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Re: Urgent. Please? - June 9th 2011, 07:42 PM

Maybe you could try and talk to a different counsellor?? There's plenty of people out there that can and want to help you, but that doesn't mean that they'll all...click with you (in lack of a better term). I know i had to go through 7 different counsellors and therapists until i found someone i was comfortable with. I can definatly tell that the person i'm talking to now actually cares, and that's nice to know.
   
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