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hipsage Offline
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Name: chris
Age: 31
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Location: in the bloom of a full moon (whitman,ma)

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Join Date: June 10th 2011

dying from a broken heart - June 10th 2011, 11:11 AM

hi everyone, im new to the forums. im in search of some help, i have a mental illness. its called schizo-affective. to put it into concepts you can understand you have one of two moods, you are over the top happy, outgoing, want the sun on your face and dance in the rain, strait out paranoid, or like me you get so deppressed you can function, withdrawn, longing for love and friendship but afraid of rejection all the wau to a pint of hallucinations and suicide attempts. well, im at the time of the year i start to "cycle" and have no control over how i feel. and i fel so alone. not "hey lets hang out this weekend" with your friends alone. like, hard to explain, the love of another cold make me feel better and it will all go away. but someone in my " mental state" sends people running when they find out. is there some way i can find that someone, the hug that makes a day worth living and a someone to confide in, stuff i dont feel i can tell my therapist. is it possible? will i find her? when and where and what do i have to do? i feel so helpless and down. ahs anyone else felt like this? and did you find that special someone?
   
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savealife723 Offline
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Re: dying from a broken heart - June 10th 2011, 09:47 PM

Hey Chris!

First of all, let me just welcome you to the forums. I'm Kaylaaa, and I really hope that you enjoy using TeenHelp! (:

Second of all, I'm terribly and truly sorry that you feel this way. I know how hard it can be to think that you'll never find love, and thinking that you'll be alone for the rest of your life, but it's not true. Not for me. Not for you. Not for anybody unless they choose that way of life. I know the lonely feeling that you're taking about. The one that comes from the pit of your stomach, and it's almost impossible to resist. I've had that feeling plenty of times before. I was the same way that you are right now. I always thought that I would never find "that one special person" because of everything that was wrong with me. everything that made me different. but it's not like that at all. In fact, right now I'm with the most wonderful boy I could ever imagine and I'm indespcribably happy. (i don't even know if that's a word...) :P

But the point is that love will eventually come and find you. It's not something you can go out searching for. It's not something you can beg for, or buy. Love is something that finds you at the right time, and just consumes you. It's probably the greatest and strongest thing in our world because of how controlling it is. It just overtakes you, and I promise you that when the time is right, it's going to hit you with the most amazing girl you could ever picture yourself being with. Everything about her will be perfect to you. And everything about you will be perfect to her. My boyfriend loves all the things about me that make me different. Every fear I have, every insecurity, even my bi-polar disorder, my boyfriend loves it. And when you meet the right girl, she'll feel the same way about you.

Be patient, and hang in there. <3
Everything will work out for the best.

If you ever need someone to talk to, or you just need to vent, you can always send me a private message or a visitor message. I would love to hear from you.

I hope you enjoy the forums!

-Kaylaaa.


When you can't find your way home,
and when life gets too hard to face on your own.
I will stand as a light through the darkness unknown,
I will walk with you, so you're never alone.
   
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