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monkuar Offline
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What is this called? - June 22nd 2011, 09:42 AM

When you been trying to talk to your grandma/parents for years, ever since 15years old, im 19 now.

And whenever u get into a good conversation with them or something, or whenever u go to the store with your mom and then on the way back home driving, i am so humble and quiet and nice and all of a sudden my mom starts yelling because " i have a attitude ???"

this has been happening for liek 3years, so now im 19 and goign to college soon, my mom ask's me To drive to store to help groceries, and i say "no thanks" then she get's mad all the time, it's like... weird

then i feel sad because i cant talk to her.. but i am trying to stay away from all the rage/etc she smokes too so when she get's mad at me or my sister, she goes smokes outside then comes in and is all happy... makes me sick.. the addiction is killing..........


Also... for my grandma like sometimes if I tell her were I am going or whatnot, she get's a bad attitude... i tell her nicely too.. then like i just don't want to talk to these people becaue they always end up getting mad all the time, so it's like why even talk to my family?? which prob makes it worst..

I mean seriously I take in so much stuff and be humble/nice and sometimes mom/grandma just get's a attitude and get's mad... it really makes me mad because then my body adjust's not to be around/talk to them... so now my grandma/mom think im like not loving them or whatnot cuz im not talking to them...


well i don't want to talk to you if ur going to get mad, i have told them that before, and it just get's worst..

Ok I am looking for a word that describes the following too:

When you get mad at people/yourself it fuels your motivation to do stuff

Cause seems like, my mom get's mad at the stupidest things and then yells at everyone in the house and then me and my sister go in our room like "wow...." then she starts doing whatever she was doing like cleaning or whatever. (cat liter box/whtever)

So you may ask? So why not just clean the litter box and help around the house to help ur mom so she doesn't get mad?

The answer: I did this before, i cleaned litter box all the time/etc/etc but my mom always got mad at something and she purred all her frustration on me and my sister... pretty sad really, no wonder why our family doesn't talk or do anything, it's pathetic, you should see me outside of my house with my friends... im never mad, you can even ask all my friends that they have NEVER ever seen me mad, but when I come home I get yelled at all the time...

Can't even have a casual conversation with anyone in the house or it always end's up in they yelling or etc/at me... so yeah..

also my sister is recovering from mental disease, sychnofennia or whatever, and she's so scared tocome out of her room because my grandma always yells at her/etc and is a complete jack ass to my sister.. now my sister just wasting her life away in her room... i mean it's sad really, she has to take pills/etc... i used to take her to the park to walk/etc but i just dont got any motivation to do it anymore.... cuz i always think "well if she comes home and starts talking to my grandma" my gma will prob just start yelling at her/etc and it will go back to 0 again..

and yeah we live with our grandma..

me/sister/mom/gma

so yeah this is so dumb, i am going to college for baseball, im 19years old (site has it wrong) in fall i start college... and iuno im just posting what's up right now and how i feel, i think i am a little depressed..

thanks all,

-NiCk (monkuar is a nick name)
   
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chook14 Offline
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Re: What is this called? - June 22nd 2011, 01:57 PM

Hi Nick,
I'm sorry I can't help you with finding the exact words to describe it...I'm not sure there is one! I'm so sorry to hear about your family situation. you're definitely not alone, a lot of people have communication problems within their families unfortunately (myself included!). It sounds as though your mum and grandma might have some problems of their own, and are taking it out on you and your sister. It sounds like you're handling it really well by removing yourself from the situation. When they start talking to you like that the best thing to do would be to politely excuse yourself and walk away. You don't want to make them angry, but it's also not fair for you to have to listen to them yell at you for no reason. It wouldn't hurt to help your mum out everynow and then with the groceries etc, it might make her less aggressive. And if she is dealing with some problems of her own, i'm sure she'd appreciate the support. You have to be strong and try not to let their words affect you. As you get older, you might find that your relationship with your family improves. Going to college will be a really good thing for you I think! You'll get to meet new people, and spend less time in a negative environment. You could try hanging out with your mum away from home and see if that helps...like maybe suggest that the two of you go and get coffee and talk. When she's not at home she might feel less stressed out and no so triggered to yell. It sounds like your little sister is having a hard time too...i'm sure she would really appreciate if you'd still hang out with her like you used to. It's definitely not pointless to try and make your sister happy just because she gets yelled at after..I think getting your sister out of the house every now and then would actually do her a lot of good. Try to stay positive Jack..I know how upsetting this kind of situation can be, but just remember, it's not your fault that you're getting treated this way. Adults/parents are meant to be role models for us, but often they have their own emotional issues that get in the way. They're human afterall. I'm sure your mum loves you, she's just having a hard time of her own. If you're feeling depressed, it might be a good idea to see a doctor, or speak to a friend that you trust about the situation. Talking about these things can really help. It's definitely a good idea to get help. You deserve to be happy, don't let other people stop you from being yourself PM me if you like. Take care, I hope things look up for you soon.


"He who does not weep, does not see" - Victor Hugo, Les Miserables.

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chook14 Offline
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Re: What is this called? - June 22nd 2011, 02:01 PM

ooo I'm so sorry! My friend Jack texted me as I was writing and my brain got muddled :S how embarassing! I know your name is Nick I promise!!
Take care Nick! Let me know how things go for you!


"He who does not weep, does not see" - Victor Hugo, Les Miserables.

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monkuar Offline
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Re: What is this called? - June 23rd 2011, 09:23 AM

Thanks so much choock, your post meant alot to me, I am truly thankful for being able to read that.

I guess college will be the deal breaker for me then, cheers.
   
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Re: What is this called? - June 23rd 2011, 01:08 PM

Hey Nick,

Your family sounds like what I'm living through, sort of, minus the grandma and add in two cousins and an Uncle...
The only ways I've found to deal with this situation are to use avoidance, even if it ticks them off, avoiding the negativity is the best option because you can't let them get you depressed all of the time and try and find some other person or people to vent to and talk to, try talking to a doctor or friends.
Keeping everything to yourself isn't going to get you very far because everything just piles up.
I think you going to college will be a big change, but it will be for the better. It will allow you to get away from your mom and grandma and help you be less stressed and have more freedom.
I think you should hang out with your sister more, even if going on a walk seems to much, which at times I understand it can, you really should do that for yourselves. Getting out and walking is kind of releaving, it allows you to get fresh air and sense your mom and grandma most likely won't be near you both when you're walking, it could be a good time for you and your sister to talk and discuss things happening around your home and a time when you can sort of help her if she needs you or when you need her she can help you.
My cousin and I do this from time to time because we go absolutely nowhere else most of the time and walking is our only way of getting out and talking without anyone else hearing us or knowing we're talking about them or venting about what's going on.
Try and help them out as much as you can, even if you don't necessarily want to and if they don't really notice or care at first or at all, just the fact you're doing something for them will make them feel happy even if they don't show it.
I hope I've helped. If you ever want to talk or need any advice, you can PM me and I'll be glad to help or just chat.
Good luck and take care.


"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
   
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