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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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bayhorse321 Offline
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Thought that scared me. - June 24th 2011, 04:16 AM

Sorry I forgot to label it (TRIGGER)Suicide

Today I was having a relatively normal day. I wasn't happy but I wasn't sad. Two of my friends took me to dinner and then we went to a resort just to walk around. We parked on the roof... I was doing ok I was feeling low at this point and really nothing triggered it. I started thinking about the things in my life and really started feeling low. I went to the edge and got on it and put my feet over and just dangled them there. I was thinking about jumping... My friends turned around and saw me sitting on it and made me get down. I am grateful that they did but then again I'm not. I know I scared them but I scared myself WAY more. I have never felt suicidal to this extreme before. I don't know what to do about it. There is the obvious one of talking to an adult or my mother but I can't make the words....

Last edited by bayhorse321; June 24th 2011 at 04:21 AM. Reason: Trigger (Suicide)
   
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Re: Thought that scared me. - June 24th 2011, 04:23 AM

Hey,

Sorry you're having a rough time.

I don't really know what to say, except the go to an adult bit. Or friends, that would work too. Just find someone to talk to about what you're feeling.

Hang in there sweetie<3


♪♫"The mirror only shows
The shell of what's below
You can't go on suffering
The illusion of control
It's time for letting go
You can't go on suffering
And now you know
Now you know"♪♫
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Things get better.
Always keep fighting.
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Re: Thought that scared me. - June 24th 2011, 04:50 AM

I'm sorry to hear that you found yourself in this situation. But I'm so glad to hear that your got you down and that you didn't go through with jumping off the roof. I definitely think talking to someone could help you out. Maybe during those times that you can't find the words to tell someone what's going on, you could try finding a different way to get it out. Maybe you could write it out or draw a picture explaining what's going on. A lot of times there's other ways to get the information out. And if you need someone to talk to, you know you can PM me.


"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life." --John Lennon

"What matters isn't that you fell, but that you got back up. No matter how many times it takes, it's that you get back up. We fall down and all isn't lost." --Renee Yohe
   
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Re: Thought that scared me. - June 24th 2011, 01:07 PM

okay, thanks. I calmed down it's just that I never felt that way before and I just really scared myself.
   
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Re: Thought that scared me. - June 24th 2011, 01:41 PM

I am sorry that you had this scary moment.
Talking to an adult would help, going to a prefessional would also be a good idea, but you have to go when you are ready to be open and honest to this professional.

If you ever need to talk please feel free to PM me and/or use LiveHelp were someone will be happy to talk things through with you.

Keep going you can beat this.
Take care


"Casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12:2

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Re: Thought that scared me. - June 24th 2011, 01:48 PM

Thanks I guess I should have thought about the live help thing. That would have most likely helped me much faster than what I did. Thanks for the support everyone.
   
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Re: Thought that scared me. - June 25th 2011, 12:26 AM

i had a similar experience , and after that i made an appointment with my doctor (GP) and they set up an appointment for counselling and now on meds . because even though i can talk to my friends etc , i dont want to talk about it to much because it will upset them .
also have you tried writing a letter to someone , its easier i think then speaking face to face .

mail me about anything
stay safe x x


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Re: Thought that scared me. - June 25th 2011, 01:39 AM

I understand the not wanting to talk to my friends to much. I feel like it upsets them or even annoys them. I try to just not tell them. I haven't told anyone besides you all about my Suicide thought. I don't even really know what triggered it I just know that I thought about it.
   
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