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merlen333 Offline
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Name: matthew
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Join Date: June 20th 2011

Unhappy thoughts are comforting?? - June 27th 2011, 03:48 AM

...Why is this happening?? It seems these thoughts of killing myself and cutting and all this are comforting...I might as well tell a little of my life....I have a little brother with lots of stuff like autism and add and aggresive defiance syndrome and then I have my slow as crud sister who also has a form of autism...my bro is constantly nagging me...i cant play xbox or talk on the phone for 10 mins without having to punch him and when i do I have to punch my self cause he is only like 10...I go out to ride my bike and I'm happy but I come inside the house and my mood is completely ruined...i sit in a corner and cry...I cry myself to sleep...All because I know I have another day to go thru with him and my sister...and before you ask he is not my only reason for suicidal thoughts and depression....

Seems like the world hates me now....
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Name: donna
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Re: thoughts are comforting?? - June 27th 2011, 08:58 AM

Hey, It sounds like you have a really difficult time at home. Is there anywhere else that you can go that doesn't ruin your mood? If being at home is making you feel so sad, you could try going for more frequent bike rides. Cutting is a coping method and it can be comforting, but it isn't a solution. It may feel comforting that you have control over the pain you feel and the length of your life, but cutting is addictive, and suicide is permanent. I don't know how old you are, but living in a certain household isn't permanent. Eventually you'll move out and find somewhere where you aren't being hassled by your siblings. If you don't have any plans for the future, I find it helpful to imagine what I might do with my life. It doesn't have to be realistic, but it does have to be optimistic. Also you could talk to a school counsellor or someone outside school who could help you deal with your other reasons for feeling suicidal and stop self harming.
Please don't give up. Things will get better. If you want to talk to me, feel free to PM me. I would be happy to listen.
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