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BoneAndDream Offline
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it's summer again.. - June 28th 2011, 02:18 AM

so. school got out last week for me. since then ive just been playing video games all day. i dont want to leave my apartment. i dont know why. every summer i just slowly go crazy from the sameness. then i get snapped back out of it when school starts. its always the same cycle every day during summer and the school year. i might be moving soon. i told my mom that we should move to another state. i know that seems weird because "i would be away from all my friends and those who care about me", but the fact is, i dont really have any friends or people who care about me. maybe i would find some somewhere else. maybe i would even find someone that would love me. but thats pretty unlikely. because society says im supposed to be "the man" and make all the moves. but i cant because im pathetic and so scared all the time. make a move? i can barely even move a muscle in the presence of a girl. i sure as hell cant move my lips to form words and sentences. im much more articulate through written or typed text...

im so lonely. theres nobody for me to live for. i just want to live in the forest or something and be friends with all the animals. then i wouldnt have to worry about all the things society expects of me.....
   
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Re: it's summer again.. - June 28th 2011, 03:02 AM

i know how youre feeling, the summer of 2009 i think it was all i did all day was sleep till 6 at night and stay up till 6 or 7 in the morning, i had friends but they were just school friends i didnt have anyone to go out and hang out with, i guess thats where my depression started majorly, i know its really hard to make friends i hate when parents say go make friends, because its so hard to do, but when you talk to some people and make attempts to hang out and talk/text them you build a friendship or even a relationship right there, i know its hard to talk to someone that your interested in as a girlfriend/boyfriend but once you get yourself out there you find yourself just slowly learning and figuring things out, if you want to talk to me in pm so we can talk more in dept please feel free to pm me, even though im a girl i do understand what your going through
   
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Re: it's summer again.. - June 28th 2011, 08:54 PM

Summers are brutal. That's why I've always worked and taken classes though it. Or just taken classes, when the work part isn't very successful. It is a very effective time-killer. Volunteering is also something to look into. If you don't feel too comfortable going out there and looking for something to do, perhaps consider volunteering on here. Trust me, it can be just as time-consuming (but more rewarding) than summer school!

Screw social expectations. People who are worth 'living for' will appreciate you for who you are, and perhaps that is a more reserved and introspective personality. Forcing yourself to be someone you're not can only haunt you later on.

When we are able to appreciate ourselves, we will see the attitude of appreciation mirrored in the world around us. When we perceive ourselves as unlovable, our perceptions will be biased to find apparent evidence for that. Our unique subjective experience of external reality is molded by our internal realities.

Why live for any particular person, whose presence in our lives is wholly impermanent, when we can live for the well-being of the Earth as a whole; live for the sake of life itself? When we have solidity and joy within us, our very presence helps to make the world a better place in subtle but real ways.

If you ever want someone to talk to or kill time with, feel free to PM me.


"If limitations exist, it is because we have erased the possibility of potential."

Feel free to PM me if you ever need anything.
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Re: it's summer again.. - June 29th 2011, 04:25 AM

I hate summer for the very same reason. The "trapped" feeling. Maybe moving is what you need. The same surroundings and people can really drive you crazy. Change can be a good thing.

Live for yourself. This life is yours, there's no point in choosing one person to dedicate it to. Do what makes you happy and screw the rest.

I literally never do anything, so if you wanna talk, never hesitate to PM me.


You've gotta swim, swim for your life. Swim for the music that saves you, when you're not so sure you'll survive. You gotta swim and swim when it hurts. The whole world is watching. You haven't come this far to fall off the earth.
   
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